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Warpblade
19-01-05, 11:38 PM
I know this first section is short, but that's because it's not really a chapter in its own right. The actual chapters will be longer. Some names are spelled differently to reflect changes in language.


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“Blessed be those that walk in the Light
Anointed are you, supplicant of Talis (blessed be his name)
Be steadfast always in His Memory
Strength and Courage to the Children of God!”


-from the Quar’Nat, Holy Book of the Paladins of the Silver Hand



Chapter 1 – A Lesson in History


Two hundred fifty years have passed since the Shezzarat, the invasion of the Burning Legion that had ravaged the lands of A’zroth, and even now, the land is burned with its taint. The Abomination, False Emperor of the Faithless, and name Unspeakable, sits yet upon the Frozen Throne, in command of the forces of Death, the Scourge.

Following the defeat of the Demonlord Arkimonde upon the slopes of Mt. Hyjal, the men of A’zroth saw fit to rebuild the old glory of Humanity. So did men found the fortress of New Sturmwind in the burned-out husk of A’zroth, defiant even unto their screaming ends at the hands of the Scourge. The remnants of Humanity sailed across the Great Sea, bringing their tales of woe to the small island fortress of Theramore. The Orkish Hordes under the Thrall, having made the costly mistake of allying with Scourge were eradicated, and Durutar scraped out like a gourd.

Following this was a century of peace, brought by inactivity. The Kings of Humanity lost their way, and in forsaking the Light were brought to their knees by their own greed.

It was in this time of darkness that Feanor Talis (blessed be his name), the son of a shepherd, brought to the failing Light the Fundamental Truths of God. Even as he was burned as a heretic by the blasphemers of the Old Church, did he proclaim for all true believers to purge the world of the Faithless.

In the First Silver Crusade, the Paladins of the Silver Hand converted to the Rule of God, and in so doing, broke the Old Church. Melanor Silvershill, Holy Companion of Talis transcribed the Truths of God into the Book of Faith, the Quar’Nat.

In the Second Silver Crusade, the Council of the Anointed declared that the Kaldorei of Kalimdor were among the Faithless, and after a half-century of brutal warfare, succeeding in breaking the power of the Night Elves.

Ignorance is a Sin, for indeed, the Second Fundamental Truth of God states, “Believe always in God, but lose not your sight, for sloth, ignorance, apathy, and complacency are traits of the Abomination.” This Sin, the Council committed, and for their transgressions had Holy Authority passed on to three factions – the Chosen of the Light, True Kingdom of Lordaeron, and Quel’Dorei, with the Church of the Silver Hand watching over.

Humanity is once more in war, for the forces of the Unspeakable now invade the lands of the Chosen of the Light. Following is the account of Paladin Alamis Shadowslayer, Anointed of God.

Ogrey-Author
20-01-05, 09:30 AM
An introduction that promises much, but isn't gripping or interesting enough to really keep me absorbed. Good thing its short, then. Often a gripping start to the story, THEN followed by the lore and other stuff, would be much better. Good luck to you Warpblade, as I've seen a few good stuff from you before. Hopefully you won't dissapoint.

Renetet
20-01-05, 04:24 PM
Lore is often a necessary evil as it needs to be included in some stories to make them believable, or to explain events prior to the actual story itself. Writing in a world already made means that much of that is common knowledge, thus negating the need for a history lesson. As for the story, the plot has great potential and i for one look forward to reading more of this. Though this first section is short, it can be considered for its content and purposes as a prologue.

Warpblade
20-01-05, 04:48 PM
Lore is often a necessary evil as it needs to be included in some stories to make them believable, or to explain events prior to the actual story itself.

Exactly - if I started with the character and his events, I would have to constantly explain what is happening. While I could do that (what Ogrey stated about starting with the story, and allowing the reader to learn over time) if I had a great amount of talent, I don't think I have the skills yet to do that. I'm working with what I have.

Thank you both, though, for your replies.

Kilrogg_Deadeye
22-01-05, 02:27 PM
I think you should take Ogrey's advice Warp. You don't need to have skill to give small info over time, it's just a matter of putting the bits of info where it seems most appropriate. Construct scenes that would be good for dialogue, revealing the plot as we go along. I really like fantasy novels that leads you slowly into its world without too much description at once, like Philip Pullman's 'Golden Compass'. That Warp would really capture the reader's attention, as they would constantly 'discover' new things as the story progressed. I don't really like the lore-prologue cliche, it's sorta like an advertisement that tells the reader what it's all about before we've even gotten into the actual plot.

AlarStormBringer
22-01-05, 09:45 PM
I'm wondering if your trying to seriously change the human's perspective on religion, because they do not believe in any god, they believe in 'The Light' but I'm sure you've heard this rant before. If anything, it's a good start, and if you want to keep calling 'The Light' 'God' then by all means, go ahead. It is your fan fic.

Warpblade
23-01-05, 12:12 AM
Maybe I didn't explain it well enough - but the idea was that it was essentially a new religion. There was a break from the old church (which worshipped The Light).

Warpblade
23-01-05, 01:41 AM
The administrator has specified that you can only edit messages for 20 minutes after you have posted. This limit has expired, so you must contact the administrator to make alterations on your message.

(stupid limit)

I don't really like the lore-prologue cliche, it's sorta like an advertisement that tells the reader what it's all about before we've even gotten into the actual plot.

Well, as I said in my little rant, I don't really like prophetic prologues. In any case, the first segments of this story are going to be buildup, told in a different style than the actual story. The next segment is merely an account, which would essentially be a report. Remember to consider the concept of an "unreliable narrator."