God Shaped Hole

[TheNewHorde]

Prologue


The tattered cloak falls beside him, revealing a twisted skull with burning red hair. The creature of horror reveals an eye red as blood and an silver eye with golden pupil, his body can not be seen for the hell fire burns all over with an occasionally spark of fire flying from the wind. Enchanting his garment, the incarnate of evil summons the shadows of Dy’Zetka to protect him from all the elements in the world. Shadows surrounds and covers the inferno’s dancing fire within and rips through the very fabric of the world. The heat is so unbearable that the nearby life forms all caught fire without the monster actually touches it, yet the taint of darkness chills Flak to the bones.

Mumbling, the divine creature of fire lost all his sanity as he laughs madly, “Now mortals, behold the power of magic that you have treasure so much!’

Terrified, Sharis holds Flak’s hand tight, “Is he really gathering magic powers?”

“Believe in me, just as I believe in you.” Flak’s voice shutters out of fear, fear for both his and Sharis’ life. “Whatever happens, I will always be with you, until the end of eternity.”

Shadows flying around them, covering the sun and moon, covering the light of the world, Flak kisses Sharis as the world of black and white completes the final expending upon this world. The borders of Hitkus now connect itself like two drops of water becoming one. The world is about to end, the prophecies have come true, all was foretold, and history is to repeat itself once more.

“This is where it all ends,” Flak whispers silently against Sharis’ ear, “I will not let history repeat itself.”

Flak hugs Sharis tight as he kisses her again. Sharis wipes away the endless tears bursting out her eyes while she grabs the sword beside Flak’s belt with her other hand. Holding the sword with both hands, Sharis handed Flak the rusted Sword of Heroes as she looks right into the reflection of herself through Flak’s eyes.

Nodding, Flak turns to face the abomination of chaos. To his unimaginable surprise, the monstrosity is beyond human recognitions. Dark green skin, sharp curving tusks, claw-like nails, spires of burning fire comes out of it’s rough backbone, deep inside its burning eyes shows the innocent souls crying for relief that were slain by this horror. Mad with power, the monster stood on two legs as he gave a terrible howl that splits through reality.

Orbs of burning rage, the monster called out, “I AM THE NEW HORDE, MY WILL BE DONE!”

The titanic battle between light and darkness only heard in legends is now back. But this time, the victor shall rule for eternity…

[Inquisistor7]

You're scaring me. Seriously.

[TheNewHorde]

Ok Flak, after your "constant wondering" of how far I was in your Hunter C story. I am glad to tell you I am finally on the last page, and what was the gift you were gonna give to me? Is it a secret? Oh, by the way, after reading your story, an idea pops out of my head, and I think it's alot better than the Max Xivalier one. Do you think I should continue Max or write this one first? I used our names in my story, I am thinking of using everyone's name in this story. If that is ok with you guys, reply "no, don't use my name." if you don't want me to use ur name. I'm the bad dude while Flak is the good dude. ^^

[TheNewHorde]

Why am I scaring you?

[Inquisistor7]

You are scaring me because you are putting flak into one of your stories. I think you are contemplating him too much. If you talk to him a lot that is fine, but a story with him in it?

[Shindog]

The titanic battle between light and darkness only heard in legends is now back. But this time, the victor shall rule for eternity…
I like the idea that this line is trying for, but the wording is a bit awkward to me. I'd try a rewrite.

You've got some good character description but I'm left wondering where everything is happening.

I'm also confused on who these characters are and why they're important but since this just a prologue I assume I'll find that out later.

A very decent start. I'd read more.

As for using other's names, I don't agree with it but I understand the when you're starting out it's sometimes nessicary. Always get premission though, and speaking of which, you have mine if you want it. See the central thread for a longer discussion on naming.

[BraveLiver]

Full permission is given to use my name. I think it just screams to be in a tale.

NOTE: BraveLiver is a play on BRAVEHEART, and has no relation to alcohol consumption. Please use name properly.


EDIT: This username character seems a lot like the idea I put in my story earlier today...

[TheNewHorde]

Chapter 1

Rubbing his head while he tries to sit up, Flak felt a slight pain in his skull. He tried to remember what have just happened, but his memories are as scattered as his depletion of magic. It hurts his skull just to recall his scattered memories, and so he stood up to survey the area.

Or at least he tries to stand up. His legs felt weak as he falls right back to the green lumpy grass. Green lumpy grass? Weren’t he just in a land of black and white fighting a monster of death incarnate in a wasteland?

“Ahhhhh…” Flak felt his brain squeezing tight against his head, the more he thought of what happened, the more pain he experienced.

After a few moments of recovering, Flak stood back up and looks around him. He is in a land of grass, beautiful as it might seems, Flak still have no clue of what just happened nor does he have any clue about Sharis. It seems he is on a hill above a farmland, because he can see farms about half a mile east from him. Flak surprised himself as he looks behind him. A giant forest so dense that no light are able to pass, it seems to be a cursed forest, for shadows shifts from place to place whenever he blinks. Looking down at his feet, it seems that he is between the border of this farmland and the dark forest.

“Michael,” Flak turned toward the farmland again to locate the source of the cheerful voice, “sneaking out again? You can’t always skip your chores and wonder off like this.”

It was a girl, a girl barely older than his age. The wind blows her long, thick hair flying around her as she walks graceful motion. She wears a long silvery garment and a pair of high-hilled shoes. Her face and her voice seems familiar to Flak, it’s the only voice Flak remembers after waking up. Trying to think of who the owner of the voice is, his brain gave him another shock of pain as he falls back down. Helping him up, the girl made a short giggle as she start to spin around Flak.

“What do you think?” the girl asks, “I rarely wear this dress, do you like it? I didn’t think you would be so shocked to fall down.”

Trying to sound polite, Flak answers, “It looks very nice, but I do not believe I know you.”

“Oh stop it, just because I’m wearing a dress for once and now you’re going to deny me?” It seems Flak’s compliment didn’t quiet went through her head as she looks annoyed by Flak for not recognizing her. “Come Michael, Mr. Inquisistor would be mad if he finds out we’re slacking off and hanging around here.”

Having no whatsoever clue of the current situation, Flak decided to play along. It seems that the girl knows more about him than he does about himself. Maybe he could dig out a few information of this place. It seems like the wisest idea before he could figure out what really happened.

Peering back at the dark and frightening forest, Flak seems to feel a echoing voice calling for him. A voice he knows so well yet cannot recall. I am the new Horde, my will be done… Shaking his head, Flak continues following this unknown girl.



*~*~*~*~*


“So why did you call me Michael?” Flak asks the girl walking beside him an hour later.

“Because that’s your name, of course.” The girl replies as she holds Flak right hand with her own.

“But my name is Flak.” Flak told the girl as he wonders if he just made a mistake that he will soon regret.

The girl didn’t seem to bother with the last comment, instead she now hangs by Flak’s shoulder and said, “Well, of course it’s your name, or what else would you want to be called? Silly.”

“But I thought you just said—,” Flak is suddenly cut off by the girl as she puts her finger on his lips and gave him a quick kiss.

“Mr. Inquisistor is coming,” the girl points at the house in front of them, “we better get into the farm house before he finds out.”

Footsteps can be heard even though they are outside the house. The girl pulls Flak (or Michael, as she calls him,) toward the farmhouse near them. Even though she’s wearing high hills, her reflexes were quick and instant. Moving along with this strange girl, Flak covers his nose as the disgusting smell of the livestock in the farm fill the air.

“Michael, Sharis,” a deep yet clear voice calls out, “are you there? I have an errand for you to do.”

Looking puzzled, the girl named Sharis grabs Flak’s hand and walks out.

“You asked to see us, Mr. Inquisistor?” Sharis pretends to be stretching her back. “we’ve fed all the pigs and worked at the farm all day. It’s been an awfully tiring day for us, can’t Michael and I just rest here for a bit?”

“And you worked while you were wearing a dress with high-hilled shoes?” the man obviously didn’t believe what Sharis just said and gave her a piercing glance, “it seems there’s not a single bit of mud on your dress.”

The man seems to be near forty years old with short dark brown hair and a little mustache. Looking at Flak who is standing behind Sharis, the man handed the two of them with at least three dozens of letters each.

“The town is having a meeting next week,” the Mr. Inquisistor said, “I believe you are able to deliver them before nightfall.”

Mr. Inquisistor flicked a couple of silver coins toward them. Sharis caught the silver coins and turns back to Flak.

“Whoever deliver their letters first gets to keep the coins,” she smiled at Flak and gave Flak another kiss, “I won’t loss to you this time, Michael.”

Though still haven’t got the slightest clue of what’s going on, Flak decided he should simply play along. In truth, Flak enjoyed the kisses this girl Sharis have given to him, he would’ve have given the silver coins to the girl anyway if that could earn him a kiss. The name Sharis reminded him of someone, but whom, Flak cannot remember. Relaxing his mind, Flak believes he would remember sooner or later. Running after the girl, Flak sees a shadow shift beside him. A man with tattered cloak is looking back at him, but the second Flak blinks, the man disappeared. Perhaps it’s just the mind playing tricks on him, but for now, his name is Michael.

[BraveLiver]

I like the concept of this story, but it hasn't quite hooked me yet other than the fact that you're using our names and I'm curious to see what happens to us.

Otherwise, try to run a grammar check on your story before posting.

[TheNewHorde]

K. I did do a grammer check with microsoft words, but I think its not as good as you think. I'm just a mere newbie writer, unlike you, BraveLiver, is brave and good at writing stories. Such as Elaine, Hunter of the Night. Though I don't know why it's called Elaine cause the story have shifted focus, and I still get how the demon hunter manage to get his liquid out so fast. :g laugh:

BTW, I decided to make u the good dude, (or at least he seems nice,) and make Shindog the bad dude. Tell me if you want me to switch it the other way and make you bad. Teach me how make people wanna read a story, I am willing to learn. (I used the same sentence, "I am willing to learn" to make Flak teaches me sentences and adjectives. And now, this story is for him, cause he is the good dude and main charactor in the story. As for me, I dunno, probably not gonna appear until very end.)

[Flak]

This story scared me. It reminded me of those Love Hina fanfics on fanfiction.net where authors put themselves in the main character's place just so they they can write about their anime fetish fantasies.

Also, a particular line caught my eye and almost made me lose my jaw;

“So why did you call me Michael?” Flak asks the girl walking beside him an hour later.

“Because that’s your name, of course.”

It's almost an excerpt from a conversation I had with a girl I was once infatuated with over the internet...scared me ****less.

[TheNewHorde]

LoL! Really? Did a girl really tell you that? HAHAHAHA I thought that up, don't worry, I'm not stalking you. It's just a coincidence. I think you out of everyone would understand why I used the name Michael instead of any other names. ^_^

Oh, BTW, you said scared me ****less. What is the blank word that you typed? Is it F*CK or SH*T or HEL*?

Don't compare my story with other peoples... I don't deserve to be compared with others... I am just a total newbie of the thread trying to make some friends. Have you wonder why I name this God Shaped Hole? This time I finally have a plot, and you might get a clue why once Braveliver comes in at Chapter 3. Braveliver the evil werewolf! :y-evil: :y-evil: :y-evil: AWOOOOO

(Adding this: thank you Flak, I think my English have inproved alot since the first time I posted a thread on this forum. You taught me English better than my English teacher, and I will be forever thankful, just you know. Which is why this is dedicated to you. :y-wink2: )

[TheNewHorde]

Chapter 2

After a whole entire day of endless letter delivery, Michael lays down on the bed Sharis “claims” to be his. Still having no idea of his past, Michael pulls up the sheet as he tugs himself in. Eyes closed, Michael decided not to disturb the peace of his mind. However, a tiny crack of the floor disturbed the peace he was hoping for. Opening his eyes to see the source of the sound, only to find Sharis tucking herself into his arms. Completely taken off surprise, Michael jumps backward against the wall and accidentally kicks Sharis to the floor.

“Oww,” getting herself up, Sharis looks up at Michael with a few unhappy feelings across her face, “what was that for?”

“I’m sorry,” Michael reach over to Sharis hoping to receive an apology, “but I was surprised by your presence here. I didn’t realize you were next to me.”

“I just thought that maybe you would want my company,” Sharis seems a bit furious, yet she keeps her voice level as close to normal as possible, “it’s really lonely for me to stay in a room by myself. I thought I could spend the night with you, but it seems you clearly wants me to go away.”

Walking away from the room, Sharis glares at Michael and starts to straighten her silk-made nightdress. Michael set there with his eyes opened wide in shock as he watches her walks away. Still hasn’t gotten the events for the past two minutes through his mind, he could do no more but stare. The pain of his skull has lessened, but he feels a great emptiness when he starts searching through his memory. The emptiness of his memories now worries him, would he always be like this?

As far as Michael can remember (, which clearly isn’t much), a fiery beasts of death and hell fire spire screams out soundless words while its green skin starts dripping like wax. Something happened to his sword, though he could not remember, he can recall Sharis’ shock when she saw the sword. Sharis… The girl in the farm is named Sharis, and so it this girl in his memory. Were they the same person? If they are, then why doesn’t he recognize her?

Tired, Michael looks around him before he closes his eyes. Making sure that there won’t be anymore unpleasant surprised lurking beside his bed. Feeling sorry for what he has done to Sharis, he crawls back inside his bed and waits for his memories to return to him.


*~*~*~*~*


“Get up kid,” a bucket of water pours on top of Michael’s head as Mr. Inquisistor yelled, “there are still a lot of work to be done here. I want my house to be cleaned before the meeting begins.”

Getting himself up, Michael starts to get used to the constant watering on him. For the past week, things are always the same. Having Mr. Inquisistor dumping a bucket of water on him and walks away, mobbing the floor, feeding the animals, deliver letters to other townsfolk, though not quiet understanding why he is here in the first place, Michael enjoyed the peacefulness of the town.

Taking his wet cloths off, a strong force pushes him forward and almost crashes to the ground if not for his hands pushing himself up. Sharis is jumping on his back again, hanging herself by Michael’s shoulders.

“Mr. Inquisistor seems a bit depressed, do you have any ideas why?”

“Umm… Lets see,” pushing himself back up, Michael carries Sharis out the door way on his back as he thinks of a good sarcasm term to use, “probably because you are always on my back delaying my work?”

Giving out a short giggle, Sharis answers, “or maybe he is just having a bad day? I am rather curious why he is calling a meeting. Town meetings are supposed to be once a month, yet he just had it two weeks ago.”

“Whatever the reason is, we’re not about to find out.” Michael replied dully.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Making the same old cute little innocent look, Sharis’ curiosity got the better of her, “we can sneak behind the cabin during lunch. We are able to hear the meeting from there.”

“Fine, but get off me first. We still have chores to do.”

Completely bored by this pointless conversation, Michael let Sharis slides down of him. Grabbing a broom from the cabin, he handed Sharis a bucket to fill the water with.

“Girls don’t need to do chores,” Sharis argues, “it’s always the guys that have to do the chores. We girls just like to sit there and make candles.”

“Fine, whatever you want.” Flak places the bucket beside him as he looks for a towel.

Sharis gives Michael another kiss on the cheek as thanks. Leaving the room gleefully, Sharis left a blushed worker behind him. Though not enthusiastic of the chores, Michael wonders what is going to happen to Sharis and him once he got his memories back. Getting his broom again, the shadowy figure that has been looking at him caught his nerves. It has always been looking at him for the past week, yet every time he blinks, the cloaked man is gone.


*~*~*~*~*


Later that morning, Mr. Inquisistor had given them free time after finishing their chores. And of course, Sharis was already waiting for Michael behind the dinning room. Looking as wondrous as ever, she changed her dress into the same white shirt with dark pants that Michael is wearing.

“Ready?” Sharis asks as she went into the cabin, “they’re be here soon, it’s just enough room for the two of us.”

Nodding, Michael went in the cabin after Sharis. True, its just enough room for the both of them, but he has to crouch in a haunch back position. Looking for space, Michael turns his body backwards and let Sharis sits on his legs while he lies on the wooden floor with his back against the wall.

Hours passed, the guests have come as told. One by one, the sits were taken out of the kitchen in an orderly fashion. Getting annoyed with the dullness, Michael felt his legs went numb and shift himself back up. Inpatient as he might be, his impatience is nothing compared to Sharis. Sharis’ constant tapping of the wall made Michael even uneasier.

Sitting up straight, Sharis whispers to Michael, “It’s starting.”

“All right boys,” Mr. Inquisistor’s voice broke the silence, “we are know why we’re here, so lets get down to business.”

Though unable to see their faces, people’s voice could be distinct by the tone.

“The cattle thieves costs us more trouble than you can ever imagine,” a man with high-pitched voice spoke, “our lost are more than just animals. They even stopped our trade with other towns by taking our only source of food. We’re farmers, we don’t know much about security or protection.”

“Yes, this is all true. However, I happen to have a clue of who might be behind all this.” A third voice spoke, clearly the speaker is more intelligent and older than the rest, and “I believe it’s from the town of Zanvole the townsfolk there happens to be quiet uncooperative ever since we’ve taken the major trades with the cities instead of them. We should send a few men to investigate.”

“But that would mean passing the forest of Irase.” The man with high-pitched voice sounded scared, “everyone knows that whoever passes the forest will not leave in one piece. There are demons and hounds of all kind in the forest. Not to mention Horde’s minions.”

There seems to be a shock through the room, even Sharis covers her mouth at the sound of the name. Horde… so familiar yet so hard to remember… it was… Michael never heard the rest of the conversation as he searches through his scattered memory. Horde… The demonic beast in his nightmare appeared out of his head, though frightening as it might seems, he found more disgusts than fear for the abomination. Slowly recalling his dreams, he felt himself dispatching his own dreams into pieces. I am the new Horde, my will be done… That’s it; the monster spoke of its name before. Horde, that is the monstrous creature’s name. The only way to regain his memory is to meet the monster itself, only it can tell Michael who he truly am.

Leaving the cabin, Michael surprised everyone in the room by hiding behind the cabin. “Sir, I volunteer to investigate on the cattle thieves.”

[TheNewHorde]

Crap... I didn't have time to proof read it cause I was going to sleep... I sees tons of errors now... at least 20... That totally sucks....

BTW, congragulations to myself. This calls for a celebration, it's my 100th post!

[kikumbob]

The concept of this story sounds really cool. I credit you in coming up with it.

It looks like english is not you mother tongue, you seem to get plurals and tenses mixed around. Is this true?

[TheNewHorde]

True. Yet, Flak (the guy above my post) is teaching me English. I ask him how to write a sentence correctly, and he PM me back. So we do it back and force, sometimes I asks in AIM. But I really think I am getting the hang of this English thingy now. English is pretty similar to some asian languages i speaks, such as, chinese and taiwanese both have adjectives before the noun. But the confusing part is here, chinese don't have pural or singular adjectives or noun while some times other languages I know does. And the only verb I can really think of in Chinese is.... DA! It means apostraphy s ('s), the d pronounce as normal d while you pronounce the A as if you were saying "here comes A dog." So it doesn't sounds like dad without the d at the end.

[TheNewHorde]

Hey, 1 question. Flak, can you post pictures on it? Cause I am thinking of this map for God Shaped Hole. Since later on they are gonna go to a really weird place, (don't wanna spoil it) and I hopes to now if I can post a map, so it would make sense to people who actually wastes their time reading my stuff.