Forgiven

[Flak]

Why have things happened like they did?
I could name a thousand mistakes
A thousand mistakes.
A thousand and one times forgiven.

I whined, was disrespectful
Worshipped, lingered
Lied, insulted
And yet I'm forgiven.

The words of those people were kind
Good intent, their kind souls be blessed
But it just made things hurt more
'Cause I was forgiven.

Too kind- why had I played the fool?
Why had I acted the bastard?
Why had I tried to hurt them?
Why was I forgiven?

'Cause they're too good for me.
Because I'm pitiable in my idiocy
'Cause it wasn't worth chastising me
Because I was forgiven.

Again and again
Mistake after mistake
Lie after lie, insult after injury
Still, I was forgiven.

I look back with regret,
Yet a repeat is imminent
Knowing my own intellect
And I will be forgiven.

How many times did I play the fool?
How many trusts have I broken?
A thousand trusts, a thousand times
A thousand and one times forgiven.

[Bullroarer]

Guilt is a strong emotion, but I do not think this poem has capture the true essence. A guilty person would be feeling extremly sad or alone. Symbolized by things such as holes, or broken building or a great big voic. Perhaps even a sense of burning if it becomes an obssession.

[Flak]

Audiences are important. Often when I'm writing- and I know this is horrible, but- I feel limited. Inhibited. I don't want some people to see the true pain in my soul, so I make it look like it's kiddy and half serious.

I've felt remorse to my soul, and I know the emotions very well. I might re-write this some time, should I feel like it. For now, Ill enjoy the giddy sleepy feelings of the moment.

I'd referrance the Bob Dylan song Mr. Tambourine Man, but it's about drugs.