An "Everyone Posts" Story [Archive] - The Unofficial Warcraft III Forums

Steamboat Willy

24-11-04, 05:57 PM

All right, basically this is the way it works. I start a story, and then I stop, and people pick up from where I left off. When they stop, someone picks up where they left off. If this is too complicated for you, strangle yourself immediately. So here I go then...

Once upon a time there was a tiny Orc named... Padre Buchewad. What Padre really wanted to do was to fight in the horde... or play football for Notre Dame, but that had already been done. So Padre Buchewad decided to go on a journey to find Warchief Thrall, who he was sure would see that he had a heart of gold fitting to be a Grunt. He packed only a stick, and a checkered tablecloth to tie at the end of the stick, and was on his way. Suddenly, and without warning, Padre was pitted against his first challenge on his trek to find the horde. And this terrible, absolutly terrifying, fantastically chilling challenge was, and I quote...

Pretzel

24-11-04, 06:03 PM

A large peice of cheese, named Charlie the Cheese. Charlie was not just any cheese however. Besides the fact that he was large, he was also moldy. Buchewad had to hold his breath for a very long time while he walked past it. Almost 54 seconds. This may not seem like very much, but whens the last time YOU walked around cheese for 54 seconds. Once he was past the cheese, Buchewad decided too...

I love the Idea Willy. I hope people get into it, because i think It'll be great to have something different on this forum. Props for Willy!

Pretzel

MysticWolf

24-11-04, 06:08 PM

this has been done many times, this forum is gonna die in a couple months, and there is nothing anyone can do to change that, and what do you know about different, u joined this month?

Flak

24-11-04, 06:46 PM

*sigh*

Mysticwolf, stop trolling and being unpleasant with newcomers. At the moment, it's true, something like this is not being done, and it's a good idea to involve members to pick up life here. And if you're such a pessimist we don't want you here. The FFF is like a formation of stones in go with one eye- struggling to get its next for the promised immortality, but still temporarily alive while it fights that battle. We can bring it back to its former glory. Just you watch.

Now, to introduce myself to the newcomers. I'm Flak. Well, you knew that. Anyhow, I got myself a story running on these forums, and am one of the active members- all of a reader, writer, and poster. I look forward to seeing you around.

As for your story...

Take a break. This path sure was long and hard. That cheese was quite the fearsome. So he laid out his tablecloth like a picnic spread and began to eat his stick. It tasted...

TheBlackWaffle

24-11-04, 06:55 PM

like cheese. Charlie had polymorphed himself into a stick. He wasnt terribly happen that he had been bitten. Poor Padre was devored by the giant cheese. The cheese grew and grew and soon covered half of Lorderan, and every village, wheter orcish, human. or night elf was covered in cheese, then out of the blue, and slightly moldy bits of cheese, a hero emerged...

Flak

24-11-04, 07:13 PM

I have to wonder, Inquisitor, how many of these accounts to you plan to make? :y-sneaky:

It would be 'particularly happy'.

Also, there aren't night elves in Lordaeron.

Pretzel

25-11-04, 05:58 AM

I was here about six months ago as well, but i forgot my name, so I made this new account. Sorry for trying to "get involved". Jeez...
Thanks for trying to make me feal welcome flak. :g grin:

Also, I was under the impression that the night elves were on vacation. Thats why they were in lordaeron.
and now back to our story.

The Cheese Hero decided to call himself "The Ballistic Missile" Because he thought it sounded cool. The Ballistic Missile walked around, looking for new ways of destruction, when suddenly, he saw lots of called to arms peasants, so he used his ultimate: Kill lots of called to arms peasants. The peasants died, but the ballistic missile lost 225 mana. Then The Ballistic Missile decided to build his army. So he went to...

Flak

25-11-04, 06:35 AM

Your welcome.

...The Twisting Nether. After all, demons and the like are valuable companions. Once there, he encountered a member of the burning legion that...

Bullroarer

25-11-04, 01:42 PM

But then the dwarves of Khaz Modan assembled to drive off the forces of evil.

KrewL RaiN

25-11-04, 03:45 PM

Weilding there mighty warhammers and riding upon proud mountain goats, the dwarves charged into battle. Upon seeing the sight of the foul demon spawn, they let out a warcry and zelaously charged in, but upon seeing the demon closer up, they all halted in there tracks. The demon was the most foulest thing they have ever seen and then the purple creature turned around to face them. It had green spots and large white eyes. This creature also had a giant green belly and strong limbs ending with dull claws. The Dwarfs were frozen in terror as it begain to sing its dreaded song:

"i love you, you love me......."

The Drarves has no choise but to cover there ears and flee. Tremble mortals and despair, for Barney has entered this world

:lol:

Pretzel

25-11-04, 04:29 PM

Barney chased the dwarfs. the mountain trembled with his singing. As the goats ran, they realized they were strapped. Between them and the mountain stood something more horrible than barney himself. The creature stood aproximatley 5 foot 8. "hello neighbor" Said the man, wereing a vest. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" shouted the dwarves. "IT'S MISTER ROGERS" They...

Uh bullroar? Your contribution didnt really make sence. Oh well, thabks for contributing.

Flak

25-11-04, 08:54 PM

Yeah, Bullroarer, this isn't a round robin, it's a pick up where the last guy left off. But no matter, continuing!

A-Thousand-Lies

25-11-04, 10:07 PM

this has been done many times, this forum is gonna die in a couple months, and there is nothing anyone can do to change that, and what do you know about different, u joined this month?

You're too arrogant, ignorant and narrow-minded to know anything about different.

Flak

26-11-04, 04:52 AM

We know MW's a troll, but no need to flame him.

Now, now, children.

Bullroarer

29-11-04, 12:28 PM

Trapped between Barney and Mister Rogers, there was only one choice left. The dwarves had no choice, but to take out thier ultimate weapon. An antique Barry Mantelo record. The dwarf's put it on their phonographic machine. The song began.

"Oh Mandy, when you came..."

Both Barney and Mister R died instantly while the dwarves slow danced to Barry Mantelo...

Steamboat Willy

03-12-04, 10:19 AM

... at which point the record exploded because everyone, and when I say everyone I mean myself, had forgotten the words to that particular song, and Barry Manilow only retains power as long as people believe in him, very much like Santa Claus. Anyway, the explosion destroyed Mr. Rogers and Barney who unfortunately were backed by millions of distressed corporate attornies who took the Dwarves to court immediately. The Dwarves, seeming quite hopeless in their ability to defend themselves were rescued by, the one, the only, and the hopelessly forgotten... Padre Buchewad. Padre, who had failed to even get two miles away from his village before being devoured by a large peace of cheese had given up his hopes of joining the horde and became a lawyer. On the grounds that Mr. Rogers and Barney were both members of the Undead, and only existed because of the absolute overproduced re-runs, the dwarves were all given a kiss on the cheek and a lollipop and sent to bed early. But things were not as sound as they seem, because...

Pretzel

04-12-04, 10:25 PM

The attournies were still mad because they hadnt been paid so they hired an army to kill the dwarves. Unfortunatly for them, I like dwarves better than attornies so I will give them some erratic death

A fireball was headed towards earth, just before it hit them they cought fir. "crap" they thought." then water came and put them out. Furtunately, the commet missed them. Unfortunatley, the afterbaslt didnt. Fortunatyly, the afterblast didnt kill them. Fortunately, I did

(back to the stroy)

Barry Mantelo was very mad, beacue now not as many people believed in him. He was down to just an arm, a leg a head, with only half a mouth. He had to get the Believers stone, which was located.

Pardon my spelling PLEASe, im REALLY tired

KrewL RaiN

05-12-04, 02:45 PM

in the firey pits of the castle arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh guarded by many fuzzy white rabbits with big nasty pointy teeth. All who have tryed to obtain the beleavers stone met a warm fuzzy death at the paws of these monstrocities....

Bullroarer

06-12-04, 02:58 PM

Sorry Barry Mantalo's good friends Charizard, Blaziken and Typhlosion decided to go down to this Castle to battle the white bunnies. Blaziken and Typholosion were not as strong as the mighty charizard, most unbeatable of all fire pokemon so they left the might fire dragon to battle the creatures. Charizard slew and slew until he finally found the believer's stone being guarded by Catwoman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Garona of the Orcs, Jaina Proudmoore, Sylvanis, Lady Vasj, Xena, Lucy Liu, Sigourney Weaver, Laura Croft and Paris Hilton. No one knew if Charizard could be saved or if he wanted to be saved

innerfire34

07-12-04, 03:13 PM

Until Charizard had babies (Aesexual) and makes 30 baby Charmanders

Pretzel

14-12-04, 07:37 PM

Unfortunately, as one might imagine, Charizard died during chilbirth. The baby charmanders, with no one to teach them the ways of fire breathing dragon pokemon, had no reason to believe that they weren't warior princesses and such. All of the babies, except #18 (Lulu), who was taken under the wings of Paris Hilton, and is now doing homemade pornos, are now guardians of the Believer stone as well.

Suddenly, however, Santa came flying in and....

Kage no Musuko

14-12-04, 07:48 PM

gunned down all the remaining charmanders with his M-16, eviscerated Paris Hilton, and made off with all the food in the refrigerator, singing softly to himself in his half sleep as he strolled off to a Wal Mart. The funny thing is he did it without a sleigh, and was rather thrown their as the result of a drunken midget toss (Hey, who said Santa wasn't small?) rather than flying. Then Hiro came in with the Uber 1337 hammer o' banning along with his comrades (or groupies) KCG and Flak and...

Pretzel

15-12-04, 04:40 PM

Pretzel, in an effort to become one of the more thought of members of the forums. Together the L337-ly bashed stuff, but soon Mrs. Clause called them into dinner. They went to dinner and had yummy yummy fish and chips. However, KCG accidently swallowed a bone and chocked. Flak and Pretzel ran to the phone and dialed 911 while santa gave KCG CPR. When the EMT's arrived, they were surbrised to see that they were....

Kage no Musuko

15-12-04, 05:27 PM

Entwined in a make-out session on the dining room floor. However, KCG would soon forego Santa's tongue, and proceeded to devour his rtly body. After all, he is the demi-god of glutony. Then a spoon shoot up through the floor, and after a lot of dirt was pushed up, Martha stuart came out in an orange jump suit, yelling, "...

Bullroarer

16-12-04, 09:13 AM

"Lets bake a pie," This was so absolutely disgusting that Godzilla, Angillus, Rodan, and Mothra that they annihalated them all. Mothra wrapped them in his silk, Rodan blew them away with his wings, Angillus crushed them with his back spikes and godzilla roasted them. The four returned with the believers stone and Barry Manilo was recovered, unfortunately

Pretzel

17-12-04, 02:19 PM

A giant recordplayer began to play music. It was really good music. They all began to dance, and they were having such a good time dancing that they decided to throw a party. Everyone loved the party, so they opened up a danceclub. The sighn on the club read:

The Four Monster's Dance-o-rama Soon however they got sued by the neighbor for making so much noise they _______(the case)

continue with either won or lost (or whatever you deam appropriate) the case

BoneWeary Lich

18-12-04, 04:20 PM

The four were found guilty as charged and were apprehended somewhat tersely by the burly guards. What follows this scene is but a meager sub - plot which depicts the emotional distress that a young lass by the name of Boria faces after a one nightstand with a young laddy. The earth did tremble that night, but luckily Slay was blamed for the din as a result of his granny’s cucumber pie. Will the stench ever subside?

innerfire34

19-12-04, 11:16 AM

Yes, it did. But the lass and laddie found ancient Charmander bones ressurected 29 (they're still looking for #18), Grew them into charmanders killed all who oppsosed and took over the old ladies cucumber farm.

BoneWeary Lich

20-12-04, 08:51 AM

And as the charmanders approached, Granny Slay put ATL aside and took up her shotgun. *BOOM! *Down goes the brave janitor who had since dispatched one of the advancing beasts. Granny Slay grabs for the phone and activates the Ludicrous Al pizza pit speed dial. Slay answers the phone.
"Got cash this time?” Following an unsatisfactory response he slams the phone back down. Not only could she not pay, but wasn't that ATL's whimpering in the background?. Slay decides on 2 possibilities; either granny and Matt are getting it on rather saucily, OR, they're being overrun with blood crazed fiends! Slay leaps over the counter, past the patient KCG and races out the door to save his relationship.

innerfire34

21-12-04, 07:35 PM

Then the charmanders evolve into charizards and make a huge army of pretzal armies then the surround you and burn your cucumbers with mutation so now they're BEAVECUMBERS then they burn you to death bye bye.

Kage no Musuko

21-12-04, 10:39 PM

However, the gods that be become infuriated with dechei's lack of grammar skills and creativity, so they order the divine fist of ownage to be thrown down from the heavens upon dechei's head, thereby knocking him into the plane of the pwnt. Then the dinner bell rang, and all the little children of the land engaged in mortal combat over the last chicken wing. A small boy named Oompa Loompa the Third won, though he lost an arm and leg, and he was congradulated by a British man with a pronounced underbite who remarked, "And now for something completely different."

It was about this time at which I woke up and realized I shouldn't have eaten those weird-smelling brownies.

Shieldmaiden

21-12-04, 11:40 PM

A bit of Monty Python, eh?

The man, whose name is now Crap McScat, got up from the table and threw the weird-smelling brownies onto an unsuspecting elderly woman, instantly killing her. Afraid of getting arrested for such a heinous crime, Crap McScat ran downstairs from his second-level apartment only resulting in him falling down and cracking his head open when suddenly the police arrived and began stomping on his corpse, unsure if he was dead or not. The new main character is one of the police officers coincidentally named Adolf Hitler.

Kingcrazygenius

22-12-04, 08:45 AM

After a hard days work stomping on various citizens Adolf returns home to his somewhat tolorable wife, Helen Troy Hitler. Rather hungry, he inquires as to what she made for dinner. After hearing various suggestions, Adolf decides on the spam, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, eggs, and spam.

Just as he began to eat his dinner the door rang. When Mrs. Hitler answered the door, she found that the person who rung it was none other than...

Shieldmaiden

22-12-04, 11:45 AM

...the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Banana! It had begun dancing until it had finally danced Mrs. Hitler to death. Adolf scrambled for his Anti-h4x0rz spray and applied the spray to the banana until the banana completely disappeared off the face of the earth! Another day saved by Hitler. But, just as Hitler began taking the first bite of his spam, through the window came flying...

Kingcrazygenius

22-12-04, 12:17 PM

The health inspector. Said health inspector then declared that spam was unfit for human consumption, and hastily confinscated the entire dinner, as well as several fabriget eggs from the pantry.

Dishearted from the loss of his wife and hungry from no dinner, Adolf stumbled into the streets. Moments later he founded upon an establishment. He entered and found that it was none other than a...

Shieldmaiden

22-12-04, 10:33 PM

...World War II Veteran Memorial Center. The room went silent as he strolled into a room chock full of highly-decorated American World War II Veterans. Thus, Adolf was shot and killed on the spot. But then, all of a sudden...

innerfire34

26-12-04, 10:58 PM

|-|07 |_F_$|3|/-\|\|0|2$ ressurected him as Ronald Reagen and then a small fly flew up his butt, The next day he wakes up from something or another, naked with world leaders yelling PUT THE DAMN CHERRY INSIDE YOUR gigante A$$HOLE MOVE THROUGH THE CONES PUT IN THE BEER AND DRINK UP!! After 5 minutes of hardwork he drank, and.....

Pretzel

04-01-05, 02:25 AM

Passed out. While unconscious he had the most peculiar dream. He dreamt he was an enourmous butterfly with enourmous wings. However, everything else was more enourmous than him, so he looked like a normal butterfly. When he awoke from this dream he decided to inquire (NOT A REFERERENCE TO IQUISITOR IN CASE SURREAL READS THIS) about weather or not the dream meant something. However, to most secrateries around the world Adolf Hitler is a KOS name (kill on sight) And, seeing as most secrataries have liscences to kill, the secretary of the psychiatrist shot him repetitivly in and around the crotch, seeing as she missed ocassionally. Now. Crotch shots won't kill, although they are EXTREMELY painful.Hitler began to crawl across the floor, and into the eleevator. However, as the elevator got stuck, and hitler found himselfin an eleveator full of sex starved *** man. The men aproached hinm and...

TheNewHorde

04-01-05, 05:11 PM

then he woke up from this EXTREMLY WARCRAFT UNRELATED nightmare. It was just another vision.... a vision of a world different from his own. Knowing he have took the power from the tower of Karazhan and would be seeing visions of the past, future, even other dimensions. Yes, the third war was over, Burning Legion is defeated, but the visions of Karazhan have not. And with that, he transform into a raven once again and head for the distant land. The memories and visions of Khadgar hurts him more than any other visions he sees. He flys toward Ashenvale forest, hoping to find a way to end this gift, or curse, of seeing visions. A so, the great legend of the past, Medivh flew against the current of the wind toward Ashenvale.

(please don't get it all to way to the WARCRAFT NONE RELATED ZONE again. not that I don't like it, but it really ruins the story. <sorta another way of saying I don't like it.>) :y-mm:

Pretzel

05-01-05, 02:16 AM

Shut up.

There is no rule that says FanFics have to be warcraft related. Anyways... Your a newb. I have been on the thread since it started.

Anyways... hitler accidently stopped being a bird, and fell to death. He was eaten by some extremely un-warcraftish ants who took him to their extremely un-warcraftish anthole. The story will now be read in the views of a hobo ant, his name was...

TheNewHorde

05-01-05, 03:35 PM

fine... you don't have to get all unfriendly....

And so the ant meets the ant queen in the ant hole. The ant saw the ant queen was terribly sick and was dying, he needed somekind of miracle to save her, and the only place for miracles is the city of Troy, for it was able to survive the battle against the endless armies for 20 years.... (which is sorta a miracle to me)
And the story will go on with the ant finding miracles in Troy.

(If you can't beat them, join them. Which is what I'm doing. No hard feelings please... :y-wink2: :y-wink2:

Pretzel

05-01-05, 08:33 PM

okeydoeky. Soft feelings only. I'm sorry i was rude.

ugh :g shake: no creativity in me noggin. can't write now. later

Nate_dawg

05-01-05, 11:10 PM

The ant, whose name was Fredrick von Finke, left for Troy. Knowing that he would not survive without the help of others, Fredrick enlisted the help of: Padre Buchewad, Charmander #18, Oompa Loompa the Third, and the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Banana’s brother, the ever famous, Bob the peasant. As they approached Troy, they were force to fight....

KrewL RaiN

05-01-05, 11:44 PM

the evil swiffer wet jet, jet dry, mr.clean and the one and only Fabreeeeeze! The house cleaning products then charged forth from teh sanitary abyss from whence they came. Padre Buchewad took on mr.clean with a candycane but it ate it, Charmander #18 tryed to incrinerate the swiffer wet jet but its cleaning spray projectile action pwnt Charmander #18's fire breath, Oompa Loompa the Third, and the Peanut Butter Jelly Time Banana’s brothers took on jwt dry with all there might but its cool clean 1337 fighting skillz gave it the edge and the ever famous Bob the peasant had too take on Fabreeze...that poor soul was getting stomped hard by its unstopable freshness. Things were tuning for the worse for our heros buts suddenly out of nowere......

Nate_dawg

06-01-05, 08:26 AM

The mighty cleaning giants started to argue about which one was 'cleaning' the clock of his oppenent the best. With the cleaning monsters destacted by their arguement, our heros were able to run, crawl, and drag themselves away. Got far enough away that they thought they were safe. This hope was destroyed when.....

TheNewHorde

06-01-05, 05:52 PM

A peace maker whois name is Jeff Wang charged in and told everyone that he is the new president of the world and wrote peace treaties all over the place. The bad guys and good dudes shakes hands with each other and march for Troy, but they saw a terrifying, horrifying, absolutely g*ay _____ rapin*g Heather, (the women who started the long war) in the king's chamber.
She seems to enjoy it!
(fill in the blank, LOL)

Pretzel

06-01-05, 06:11 PM

twas helen who started the war...

As they watched with horror, they realised that this could not POSSIBLY be happening, seeing as the battle of troy was 2000 years ago. whe they reopened their aeyes they saw an even worse sight...

(try to keep it clan, guys)

TheNewHorde

06-01-05, 06:57 PM

The even worst sight is a PAPA rat humpin* the sh*t out of this MAMA rat. And he learned that they F*CK just like we do. (This is from the movie, Bad Boys II. Pretty disturbing, but I just want to say that ever since I seen the movie and here is my chance. P.S. when I said they F*CK just like we do... ummm... well, I'm still virgin, and is proud to be one, so don't get it wrong. I don't even know how humans have sex.

Pretzel

10-01-05, 12:11 AM

erm, perhaps u couldn't decipher the meaning of clan, but what I meant to say was kepp it CLEAN

k horde?

Val'Navatthe1st

10-01-05, 12:28 AM

Oh... so this is a story like Pass It On, yes?

If you mind......

Seeing as all this chaos ensued, some admiral named Kal'Neran and his fleet from an unknown empire planned to invade the world for the sake of "balance". He would deploy nukes so as to destroy the city of Troy and all those near it. He will use a banned and/or illegal hi-tech armory consisting of plasma weapons, shielding, burst missiles that explode molten metal, Ion cannons, and numerous more(which are legal in HIS place). Who would stop this chaos now........

Am I right or not? :y-mm:

KrewL RaiN

10-01-05, 12:59 AM

The cleaning proctucts could for like the Power Ranger Zord thingys they could combine into a huge @$$ robot called the Cleaninator that has a sqeeky clean force feild, sanitary bubble cannon, wet jet gattling gun and the fresh fragrence of cleaness!

TheNewHorde

10-01-05, 05:38 PM

Keep in CLEAN? You sure?

So the cleaninator jumps ontop of barney, (who revived after being killed by the "OH Mandy" dude,) who trys to retake over the world with his I love you, you love me song.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family."

And the song barney have sang sank so deep into the cleaninator's robotic heart. The cleaninator decides to rule the world with barney. From this day forward, barney use his "love" songs to take over a the world and influence the kids to his service. He makes cookies and food to make children obey him, and the cleaninator would wash the very UNCLEAN dishes with his very UNCLEAN towels in his very UNCLEAN kitchen. The very UNCLEAN humans decides to force the very UNCLEAN barney off his throne, so they thought of a very UNCLEAN plan which is.......

How's that for "Keeping it CLEAN"?

Kilrogg_Deadeye

11-01-05, 05:45 PM

Val'Navatthe1st

13-01-05, 05:29 AM

so evil that it cannot be described here in full detailed. It all ended with Barney being locked up with Sesame Street characters, who were not at all amsued to have Barney throw their show out of business. The following scene is so hideous it cannot be described in full detailed, but did include a significant amount of buttrape and blunt objects.

Now the humans were free to...

........do adult stuff! People ****ing each other, homosexual acts, and other forms of adultery!

<Notice: Your monitor cannot view all the obscenities that are occuring right now. Please read the following text.>

Getting annoyingly pissed off, the Admiral (see my last post in this thread) made the mark to commence the planned attack. The people of the world were caught unexpected as another group of humans attacked their homeplanet. All that ensued after were tragic events........

TheNewHorde

21-01-05, 04:08 PM

Then, the news reporter, Bruce Almighty comes in. He calls upon the meteor to hit all the people in the world. And then, seeing the world is doomed. Kil'jaeden finally entered Kalimdor to drain the power of the world tree because all mortal armies have died. But to his surprise, there was still one standing, he is........

(Continues) BRUCE ALMIGHTY himself! He flicks his finger as a force hits Kil'jaeden straight on the chest. Fallen back, Kil'jaeden drains all the power within the world of Anzeroth, including the power of Sargeras. The godlike battle between Bruce and Kil'jaeden have begun, and this time, no one else who come to interrupt this holy battle. The victor shall rule for eternity...

(Continues 2, LoL) Bang! A firbolt hits Bruce's right arm. But was soon regenerated with his godlike powers. Knowing his chance is very low against such a god, Kil'jaeden flys into the clouds. Unfortunately, Bruce wipes of the clouds like wiping the mists on a glass. Now having no where to hide, Kil'jaeden took his last stand. He gathered all his power for one final blow, a blow that have more than enough power to distroy Anzeroth and the whole Twisted Nether, the crippling fireball of pure infernal magic charges at Bruce.

Kil'jaeden tossed the fireball into the sky by accident because Bruce have lighten the stars like he did to grace. Unable to see, Kil'jaeden covered his eyes and the firebolt hits the sun. With nothing left, Kil'jaeden could only stand there with fear he never felt before as he awaits his doom. Bruce pulls the moon towards Kil'jaeden, it is going to hit him soon... there is no escape... no more creature is left in this universe other than Bruce and himself... He watches the moons close upon him, this is his doom, he knows it, nothing is going to save him now, not even with the power of Sargeras......

(Is this the end of the story?)

Kilrogg_Deadeye

22-01-05, 02:03 PM

All was darkness. Then there was God. Let's call him The Dude for the hell of it.

The Dude decided to give rebirth to existence, after Bruce and Kil'jaeden had beat it to a pulp, cos existence is kinda neat. So The Dude said, in a booming voice with the same authority that declares the 8.21 train late, "let there be stuff." And there was stuff. And that stuff was indeed ass-kicking neat. So says the Holy Book of The Dude.

The book goes on and on in the same style, about how The Dude kills off anyone who disagrees with him etc. etc., and so on and so forth. However, one day...

TheNewHorde

23-01-05, 09:53 AM

Bruce Almighty asks the Dude, "God, why have you restored everything? You have given me the power to be god, you given me the power to be a greater and better god than you are. Why have you taken it all away from me?

The Dude, whois real name is Alpha, God, creater of heaven and earth, and all that other names... etc. Says, " There were two rules, you can't mess with free will and you can't tell people you are god. You have betrayed the deal by showing people your godlike powers."

"Then what should I do?"

"I want you to pray, my son. Pray."

And so, Bruce Almighty starts a prayer, "God, feed the hungry. Bring peace to the world, and I wish for you to take over our lives. You will make the decisions for us, I surrender to you will. Let no evil exist in the world. Amen."

"Good, very good." God answers, "now, Kil'jaeden and Sargeras and all other demons will no longer exist. You helped me shaped this new world, no evil will exist, it's a world of peace."

(Is it finally The End? It's weird, we started with this dwarf and now we end up with Bruce Almighty and God...)

Fiendz0r

23-01-05, 10:03 AM

"But..." God continued, "A world of peace cannot live without an world of war, so I've created such a world filled with devious and most spectacular creatures not even seen in your nightmares. And to make the plot better I gave them a space armade to come to earth."
So Bruce said:

Kilrogg_Deadeye

23-01-05, 03:53 PM

"Dude...weak." "Yup" The Dude replied. (who changed his name, cos all the other gods made fun of 'Alpha') And so the world returned to its usual state of buttramming and other such evils.

All this came to an end however when...

(Dude, New Horde, stop trying to end the story)

TheNewHorde

23-01-05, 04:26 PM

LoL, ok.

And so, the real true Alpha got very mad. Because there was a fake Alpha talking to Bruce and make Bruce pray. And because there is only one true god, Alpha got very mad and punishes all the creatures pretend to be him. (the creatures pretending to be him are the ones Kilrog_deadeye said that the other gods were making fun of him. The "other gods" are the one to be punished.) And so, god send down his only son Jesus once more, and this time, like the bible said, Jesus shall bring forth the good people to heaven and bad people stay on earth to be burned by the hell fire.

People raised their head to watch Jesus comes down, they are filled with despair, because they live with nightmare creatures, they are the inpure. Looking upon at Jesus, knowing it is the end, they.....

(Is it TRUELY the end this time? Guess not, but it grabs the reader when it makes them feels like this is finally comes to an end. If we tell the readers the truth that it won't end, no one will want to read this thread. But don't worry, it's not gonna end.)

Kilrogg_Deadeye

23-01-05, 04:35 PM

HAD HUGE ORGY!!! As we all know of course God dissapprove of homosexuality and this senteth everyone straight to the deepest darkest hole in hell where they will surelyeth be punisheth for all enternity with mightyth flames and...

Bob woke up with a roar.

"Wa!" (Hey, it was the best he could do, Bob was small after all)

It had all been a dream. Just a horrible horrible dream. Bruce, Kil'jaeden, The Dude, and some dumbass named Alpha. Well, morning had come and it was now time for...

Fiendz0r

23-01-05, 04:36 PM

watchin hot lesbians covered with butterscotch having sex, because it was real after all.
But, as jesus being a jew and circumsized, he could not resist this temptation and he gave in to the temptations of the human nature and humped the sh*t out of the butterscotched covered maidens. But... the butterscotch was actually motor oil and the male population of the shire wich happened to be near set fire to him and danced the dance of a thousand crying eagles around the burning and most likely to have pain jesus. The true alpha god knew it was false alpha's fault so he invited him to a most shrewed game of colonists of catan in wich he stole all of his resources with his bastardly cards and because of god-fakegod rules the fake god had to go the land of the thousand naked, and sex hungered underwater...

(CURSE YOU FOR BEING FASTER!)

Kilrogg_Deadeye

23-01-05, 04:48 PM

Eskiomes!

(Um...can't really come up with anymore)

kikumbob

24-01-05, 04:20 PM

Jack woke up with a fright. The nightmare had gone from bad to worse to the worst thing imaginable, Eskimos! She got out of bed only to discover that her carpet was pink and fluffy, the walls were covered in hearts, and her pyjamas had barbie on. Quickly and with utmost she took them off, only to discover that she wasnt a boy anymore!
Scared to death she thundred out of her room and forgot that the stairs went downwards. Her foot stepped onto mid air and she went tumbling down the stairs into the black hole that every English kitchen had.
______
You dont mind if just change the course of this story to something a little more child friendly do you.

Kilrogg_Deadeye

24-01-05, 06:25 PM

Down she went until she hit the bottom. The bottom was filled with sex-hungry white fluffy rabbits and...well...it wasn't pretty.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jaquie (a name Jack had chosen since now he was a girl, as proven just previously very much indeed) found a hole to escape through. Then came the Deus Ex of Savory, giving Jaquie some quite cool stylish clothes so all you pervets won't be wanking off to this story anymore.

Anywho, Jaquie emerged from the hole, finding herself in a huge...

TheNewHorde

24-01-05, 07:15 PM

(Sex Hungry? What is wrong with you guys, why do you have to add those adult type of stuff to this friendly kids playing warcraft game? I mean look, why do everyone have to mention sex? Where is the good old days where virginity is valued by everyone and everyone who are under the age 25 are virgins?)

Val'Navatthe1st

25-01-05, 04:59 AM

To TheNewHorde: I liked your post.

I don't know how the heck I'm gonna continue an "unclean" story.

Continued after TheNewHorde's post after my last post:

The space armada that had been sent to bomb Earth were..... they felt out of place after seeing that all human life on the planet was extinguished by Kil'jaeden and another human person. And also the fact that the world was recreated. And seeing that the new people of the world were sex-hungry, the mysterious Empire from the depths of the galaxy sent yet another fleet..... to enforce the new people and teach them everything old-school.....

Kal'Noran was annoyed at seeing how corrupted those people were. He ordered the firing of a burst nuke.

"In the name of human purity, I declare thine unclean asses.......pwned!", he said.

Someone can continue the story of two posts, now, can't anyone?

I can.

I like eternal stories, y'know..... destruction...rebirth..... and more silly stuff.

Kilrogg_Deadeye

25-01-05, 02:16 PM

"(Sex Hungry? What is wrong with you guys, why do you have to add those adult type of stuff to this friendly kids playing warcraft game? I mean look, why do everyone have to mention sex? Where is the good old days where virginity is valued by everyone and everyone who are under the age 25 are virgins?)"

Dude, what the hell is wrong with sex and losing your virginity before you're 25? What are you 80 years old?

lordshadowbane

25-01-05, 04:15 PM

Kilrogg they're moral issues for religions and stuff.

Maps9me

25-01-05, 04:49 PM

There is a surprisingly large amount of people that care about things such as morals and religion. (not that its an incredibly bad thing)

Kilrogg_Deadeye

26-01-05, 01:13 PM

Well sure I can respect all that, but I hate when people start preaching on the net. It gets me on my nerves. This is a fun story that I think we should all be able to make as nasty and hilarious as we see fit, why all this about losing virginity?

Fiendz0r

27-01-05, 07:21 AM

and thus I lost track of where this story is going, and who is typing a response to wich story.

New story!

Title: How Jesus discovered moral issues got something in common with a bee hive
(you make the story!)

Kilrogg_Deadeye

27-01-05, 12:15 PM

Once upon a time in Jerusalem there was a dude called Jesus. Since my opinion about the matter that follows will surely offend many people, I will use a more appropriate scene.

Once upon a time in a downtown district, a mobster called Al Jesus had just killed a store owner as he had not paid the religious protectiing money. As the shop went up in flames, Al Jesus turned around and suddenly found himself face to face with a member of the rival familly, Muhammed Two-shots. His name was two-shots because...

kikumbob

27-01-05, 03:49 PM

he had just died from Al Jesus's two shots from his rifle. Im was going to be hunter now for sure, he thought as he ran off down the street, putting the rifle back into his pocket ( :g laugh: ).

Two men came running down the opposite street carrying heavy machine guns. Al Jesus knew what he had to do. Taking his rifle out, he chucked it as hard as he could. The hunk of metal whirlled through the air and somhow embedded itself in one of the men's bodies. He keeled over, blood pouring out of the wound. The second man pointed the machine gun striahg tat Al Jesus. Al raised his hand, and the gun exlpoded into a deep red wine.

Al Jesus then sped down a nearby ally and smashed straight into....

Pretzel

29-01-05, 12:56 AM

You guys ruined the story. How sad. By the way. There's already a story about Jesus. Plenty, actually. Their in the bible. Also, I'm kind of offended. Can we parhaps change the name to Jebus or something?

Val'Navatthe1st

29-01-05, 05:26 AM

Kilrogg_Deadeye

29-01-05, 10:31 AM

...Jebus. Jebus killed Al Jesus, who had one too many times sold holy wine on Jebus' turf, putting him out of the story for all eternity.

Here begins the adventures of Jebus:

One day Jebus was strolling down the street when he saw...

Oubliette

29-01-05, 05:05 PM

...a fig tree. But this was no ordinary fig tree. Armed to the leaves with knives and grenades it refused to bear any fruit for Jebus.

"It must have been an inside job," muttered Jebus under his breath, stamping out his cigarette under his heel.

"Fig trees can't do this can they? We don't want to get Don Burnin'o Bush mad. Surely there are some rules to prevent this from happening?" protested Peter in exasperation.

"From now on... there are no rules."

And then all hell broke lose as Jebus...

Kilrogg_Deadeye

30-01-05, 09:04 AM

TheNewHorde

02-02-05, 05:26 PM

Ok... this is getting weird, I guess I won't continue the stories with you guys anymore.

PissingPanther

02-02-05, 08:17 PM

Ok... this is getting weird, I guess I won't continue the stories with you guys anymore.

^ alrite not trying to be rude but no one proabably needed to kno that. You don't need to tell us everything thats running threw your mind. If you think this is weird then keep it to your self.Please. Thank you

Kilrogg_Deadeye

03-02-05, 03:33 PM

That is the way of continue-the-story stories lad. If you think this is weird, you haven't seen nothing yet.

Fiendz0r

03-02-05, 03:58 PM

took the biggest axe you've ever seen. His eyes narrowed.

'Ya talkin' to me?'

Dispite the tree's inability to speak, Jebus turned it into logs. From then on Jebus was named Da Fig-Killer because...well...he had just killed a fig tree.

With this job done, Jebus Da Fig-Killer walked down to the habour where he had an important meeting with...

Fel Archimonde (THERE, NOW HAPPY?) the insidious and most vile elder sibling of the archimonde we know. But, as fate has it, Archimonde-type demons are very largely made, so he couldn't fit in the habour (the evil twin of the harbour!) and the meeting was relocated to Cyric's place in Pandemonium. Jebus could not come there but he tried valiantly by infusing him with godblood, wich he could not really get, since it was the godly bloodbank day off. Jebus then decided it was not time yet for half-godly beings and went home to kick the sh*t out of his wife and put her in the closet and drown his children in the bathtub, whom will wreak havoc in Japan some time later.

We now join Fel-Archimonde in Cyrics place in the wordless chamber. "cyric", the greater demon asked, "since that Jebus isn't showing up, how about we try reviving the old god of murder?" "You mean Baal?!" Cyric asked in wonder and disbelief. "No, not that stupid bastard we're gonna revive Bhaal." "oh then it's fine with me."
AND SO IT WAS!

But Baal was a bit pissed off he was not released from limbo so from that point he and his brothers used dimension door to warp into the D&D universe to battle fully with D&D advanced rules version ?? (replace ?? with the latest version) and a fierce battle followed involving several headless skeletal warriors with hands made of magma.

Just when the original D&D-ers were about to lose, the allmight Doom Gaze appeared! Well, you know what you gotta do when Doom Gaze appears! That's right, take your airship and fly around the world until you find it! No matter how long! So Baal and Diablo And Mephisto casted the summon airship spell (duration: permanent, casting time: 1 turn, target: self) and they flew and flew! But no Doom Gaze! What is this? More lying and disaster?!?! NO! IT WAS NOT! Bhaal, not Baal, projected an image of Doom Gaze in the skies with the help of his allmighty....

Val'Navatthe1st

14-02-05, 12:45 AM

So, it's getting D&D now, is it? Very interesting. But I dunno how to continue....

.............Screen Hologram Projector from the future! Bhaal remembered that he had cast Time Machine to go to this time coming from the last story and that he had a souvenir with him - the Screen Hologram Projector from the future! Now he had to do exactly what he wished for......

Then in open defiance, an idiot wizard who liked to play Super Robot Wars disrupted the entire scene by casting Avatar of Me and Wail of The Banshee. He introduced himself as.... The Wreak Havoc-er of Worlds!!! He made an excuse that he went to this world by accident and got sick of it, which is why he cast Avatar of me and Wail of the Banshee. He was about to cast Uber Mega Globe of Invulnerability Ultimus: Protection from Heavenly Beings when........

Pretzel

15-02-05, 12:58 AM

He was sent to Japan wheer he found himself battling some kids who had been drowned in a bathtub. In the fight, everything died. EVERYTHING. All that was left was pretzel, and you guessed it

Padre Buchewad. PRETZEL, BEing thegreatguythathe is, granted P.B. a wish. The only thing that wouldnt happen, is thatpeople could come back, P.B. wished for...

Fiendz0r

16-02-05, 05:59 PM

Val'Navatthe1st

23-02-05, 11:31 PM

that people would come back, wich he could do since there are no wishmods to ban his wish. Padre, enraged by this defiling of his wishgifts, picked up his twenty foot tall rusty halberd with a little extra blade attached to it (so it's like a scizzor from afar) and uses it's special ability: long ranged eyebrow cutting and cutted pretzel's eyebrows off with one single allmighty earth-trembling blow! Now as you know, pretzels are very attached to their eyebrows (something with the ladies...) and went into berserk mode, gaining 50% extra speed, but the 50% more damage resulted in also his willy cut off and also his nose and eyeballs plucked out.

Dear Pretzel gave his life for humanity to come back, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!! DOOMGAZE IS BACK NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Padre Buchewad is on a good level! and doom5 won't kill him at once! OMFG? BHAAL JOINS THE FIGHT! BAAL CASTS ULTIMA3!!!!! DOOMGAZE TOOK A HEFTY 99999999999999999999999999999999999999 DAMAGE! doomgaze is dead! hooray an new esper!!!! Bhaal-->passes the esper to padre! yay padre has now learned flare! WITH THE FLARE PADRE CAN NOW READ HIS BEDTIMES STORIES WITHOUT USING A FLASHLIGHT! greanpeace is so thankful that padre is helping to preserve the environment and they grant him an real-life seal pummeling experience. But.... Posseidon of the lost seas guarding Lemuria was watching the frolicking seals when they were smacked down, and boy, did he got pissed!! And then the oceans turned yellow cuzz' posseidon got soooooo pissed he pissed himself and all the seas! But this magical urine mutated the Naga and turtles and blablabla etc so Illidan had some UUUUUBER! naga troops and they all ate the lichking's sword and armor and hands! The lichking is immortal but without limbs, you can't do much, now can you? The rest of the warcraft troops were now free to attack....

...the spirit world, but since the spirits were so uber powerful, the warcraft troops were banished and were sent instead to attack Kamigawa, which had more powerful, more annoying flying spirits.. The Lich King got so pissed off at the spirits' powers that he cast Some Sort Of Unrealism, triggering it on himself and the rest of the magical world. All other creatures except humanity was wiped off the face of the multiverse, and the Wreak Havoc-er of Worlds revealed himself as human. Annoyed by what the Lich King did, the Wreak Havoc-er of Worlds cast Time Machine to return to Pretzel's last post. After a moment of floating through the AEther, the Wreak Havoc-er of Worlds summoned his Armored Core - Reaver Zeta - to smack the heck off of those damned Mountain Giants. It didn't go well until a Mobile Suit appeared and.....

Fiendz0r

24-02-05, 04:08 PM

broke down due to battery failure. OH NOES! IT HAD NOT DURACELL BATTERIES! Let's search for the duracell battery children! now where is the duracell battery? the duracell battery isn't in the meadow, the duracell battery isn't in the tree, the duracell battery isnt in the sheeps rectum, is the duracell battery in the sanctum of chaos held by all fallen gods? yeeeees! And Cenarius has putten it in his belly, oh noes! Duracell Cenarius is too strong! So children? what do we use to defeat duracell cenarius? yes children, we equip a megaton hammer and do the Screw attack! alot of times! yes duracell battery secure, so children, what now? i'll tell you what we do now, we're gonna do....

Val'Navatthe1st

27-02-05, 02:10 AM

As the Wreak Havoc-er of Worlds watched, he saw.....

that Duracell Cenarius died as one man and numerous children pulled a Duracell brand battery out of Duracell Cenarius' guts.

"The threat has been dealt with. Now......."

The Wreak Havoc-er of Worlds summoned yet another minion to do his bidding as chaos spread to the entirety of the multiverse. Something.....

<in a booming voice>"And in this corner, the champion from the continent of Usea....... Presenting......Mobius One!"

And an F/A-22 came out and.....