spuds[MMoL]
23-11-04, 03:16 PM
Often, I have thought "Hmmm, I wonder what it woudl like to be a vat of curds and way". This story, however, has nothing to do with that. This story, is what it would be like to be a creep, in a game of wintermaul.
A Creeps Life
The Wintermaul Story
Chapter 1: Round 1-Sheep
Dispatcher: Ok. Listen up sheep. Here’s the situation. There are nine players out there, and there’s usually a noob. I think we’ve got a fair chance at not losing every one of you. Actually wait, we’ll lose every one of you, because your sheep, and lets face it: You’re weak.
Sheep 1: Baaa (For the convenience of the reader I shall translate BaAnese to English
!@#$er!
Dispatcher: What?? I speak the truth; you weaklings probably won’t ev.. I mean, every one of you will make it to the ship. Look, Teal is a noob. See all he has is 2, wait, three, uh oh!
Sheep 1: Baaa Of course he’s not a noob you idiot, didn’t you read the name game. Wintermaul: PROS ONLY. Pros ONLY. GET IT???
Dispatcher: How did one Baaa mean all that??
Sheep 2: Baaa we’re sheep. We don’t have a language, we’re not even talking. The author is just making us say things that he thinks would be funny. I mean COME ON! It takes more that a Baaa to say “ WHAT THE !@#$ IS YOUR PROBLEM?? WHY SHOULD WE GO THROUGH THIS STUPID MAZE. WE’VE GOT FAMILIES! WE ARE ALL JUST GOING TO DIE ANYWAYS!!!”
Dispatcher: Could you maybe show some optimism? You’re really bringing down the morale.
Sheep 2: Baaa WHAT MORALE?? WE’RE ABOUT TO DIE! WHY CAN’T WE JUST SURRENDER??
Dispatcher: Ok Fine. Sheep 2: You’re no longer spawning at Teal. It’s up to red with you. And he already has *counts quickly* 14 towers.
Sheep 2: Baaa Crap
Dispatcher: On you’re Marks! Get Set. GO!!
-
Sheep 41: Baaa Well Steve (Known to our reader as sheep 17, had I mentioned him) It’s been nice knowing you
Sheep 17 (Steve): Baaa You to… Well HEY now, WHATS THIS? Look at that! It’s our lucky day! Teal messed up, and misplaced a tower! THERES A HOLE IN HIS MAZE!!!
All sheep scramble towards hole
Sheep 8: Baaa WE MADE IT *falls dead*
Sheep 41: Baaa Ouch! THEY SHOT ME!!!
Sheep 36: Baaa Hey Tom (Known to our reader as sheep 41) Wasn’t that Jim. I thought he was on round 2?
Sheep 41 (Tom): Baaa Naw, apparently he put in for a transfer. Same model as Tech Builder. Lucky !@#$@#
Meanwhile, at Red’s spawn.
*all sheep die, except 2*
Sheep 10: Baaa Wow Chris (Sheep 23) we’re alive!
Sheep 23 (Chris): Baaa Oh joy. Now we get to get shot at by Orange, aren’t WE the luckiest ones.
Sheep 10: Baaa Nuh Uh! Look, here comes Barney Charlie and Andy! (Sheep 27, 51, and 6) They made it past yellow and blue! We will go through Orange with them
Sheep 6 (Andy): Baaa Whew, that was scary. How’d ya’ll do?
Sheep 23 (Chris): Baaa Not so great. Its just me ‘n’ John (Sheep 10) . WAY too optimistic that one is. What about you?
Sheep 27 ( Barney): Baaa Well, there’s the three of us, plus Dan (Sheep 18). DAMN he’s weird. Claimed he was gonna finish because he saw a whole in purple, pink, and gray’s defenses. Safety in numbers I told him. But he wouldn’t listen *Gets shot dead by orange*
*all sheep at orange die*
Meanwhile at Purple
*All sheep but Dan (Sheep 18) die*
*Dan (Sheep 18) makes it to gray, and some how lives*
*Dan enters paradise and promptly explodes, then revives at debriefing*
Dispatcher: Well? What happened? Any hints?
Sheep 18 (Dan) Baaa HEHEHEHEheheHEHEHOOHAHAhooHAHAHhooHOHOHAHAH!
Dispatcher: Whoah! He IS crazy.
Stay tuned for Chapter 2: Round 2: Engineers
A Creeps Life
The Wintermaul Story
Chapter 1: Round 1-Sheep
Dispatcher: Ok. Listen up sheep. Here’s the situation. There are nine players out there, and there’s usually a noob. I think we’ve got a fair chance at not losing every one of you. Actually wait, we’ll lose every one of you, because your sheep, and lets face it: You’re weak.
Sheep 1: Baaa (For the convenience of the reader I shall translate BaAnese to English
!@#$er!
Dispatcher: What?? I speak the truth; you weaklings probably won’t ev.. I mean, every one of you will make it to the ship. Look, Teal is a noob. See all he has is 2, wait, three, uh oh!
Sheep 1: Baaa Of course he’s not a noob you idiot, didn’t you read the name game. Wintermaul: PROS ONLY. Pros ONLY. GET IT???
Dispatcher: How did one Baaa mean all that??
Sheep 2: Baaa we’re sheep. We don’t have a language, we’re not even talking. The author is just making us say things that he thinks would be funny. I mean COME ON! It takes more that a Baaa to say “ WHAT THE !@#$ IS YOUR PROBLEM?? WHY SHOULD WE GO THROUGH THIS STUPID MAZE. WE’VE GOT FAMILIES! WE ARE ALL JUST GOING TO DIE ANYWAYS!!!”
Dispatcher: Could you maybe show some optimism? You’re really bringing down the morale.
Sheep 2: Baaa WHAT MORALE?? WE’RE ABOUT TO DIE! WHY CAN’T WE JUST SURRENDER??
Dispatcher: Ok Fine. Sheep 2: You’re no longer spawning at Teal. It’s up to red with you. And he already has *counts quickly* 14 towers.
Sheep 2: Baaa Crap
Dispatcher: On you’re Marks! Get Set. GO!!
-
Sheep 41: Baaa Well Steve (Known to our reader as sheep 17, had I mentioned him) It’s been nice knowing you
Sheep 17 (Steve): Baaa You to… Well HEY now, WHATS THIS? Look at that! It’s our lucky day! Teal messed up, and misplaced a tower! THERES A HOLE IN HIS MAZE!!!
All sheep scramble towards hole
Sheep 8: Baaa WE MADE IT *falls dead*
Sheep 41: Baaa Ouch! THEY SHOT ME!!!
Sheep 36: Baaa Hey Tom (Known to our reader as sheep 41) Wasn’t that Jim. I thought he was on round 2?
Sheep 41 (Tom): Baaa Naw, apparently he put in for a transfer. Same model as Tech Builder. Lucky !@#$@#
Meanwhile, at Red’s spawn.
*all sheep die, except 2*
Sheep 10: Baaa Wow Chris (Sheep 23) we’re alive!
Sheep 23 (Chris): Baaa Oh joy. Now we get to get shot at by Orange, aren’t WE the luckiest ones.
Sheep 10: Baaa Nuh Uh! Look, here comes Barney Charlie and Andy! (Sheep 27, 51, and 6) They made it past yellow and blue! We will go through Orange with them
Sheep 6 (Andy): Baaa Whew, that was scary. How’d ya’ll do?
Sheep 23 (Chris): Baaa Not so great. Its just me ‘n’ John (Sheep 10) . WAY too optimistic that one is. What about you?
Sheep 27 ( Barney): Baaa Well, there’s the three of us, plus Dan (Sheep 18). DAMN he’s weird. Claimed he was gonna finish because he saw a whole in purple, pink, and gray’s defenses. Safety in numbers I told him. But he wouldn’t listen *Gets shot dead by orange*
*all sheep at orange die*
Meanwhile at Purple
*All sheep but Dan (Sheep 18) die*
*Dan (Sheep 18) makes it to gray, and some how lives*
*Dan enters paradise and promptly explodes, then revives at debriefing*
Dispatcher: Well? What happened? Any hints?
Sheep 18 (Dan) Baaa HEHEHEHEheheHEHEHOOHAHAhooHAHAHhooHOHOHAHAH!
Dispatcher: Whoah! He IS crazy.
Stay tuned for Chapter 2: Round 2: Engineers