Elaine, the Hunter of the Night

[BraveLiver]

The moon was full that night. Full, and ghostly white. Perfect hunting conditions. A soft breeze rustled nearby leaves, and cooled her down. The adrenaline pumped through her vains, her lips ran dry.

The glaive punctured the ground. Even in the dark she could see the blood drops in the hard dirt. A slight thump could be heard. A perfect decapitation. Not even the Undead could escape death completely. Cetainly not Elaine's glaive.

The Acolyte had been scouting that night. Scouting for somewhere to summon a camp.

"You can't scout when you're dead, can you?" taunted Elaine, "I can't believe they left you alive. A Shade would have been much more efficient. Pity. I bet you ran from the Pit. I bet you didn't have the guts to sacrifice your life for your lords."

The Acolyte's head remained on the ground. It didn't respond, it didn't even make a sound. Elaine's face grew more grim, and then sorrowful.

"But then again, neither did I..."


My first Night Elf story. Continued later on...

[Bullroarer]

Well continue good sir, I am hooked.

[BraveLiver]

If the Fan Fic master says it's good, then it's definately worth continuation!

The memories rushed backed, and Elaine let out a gasp.

The Priestess, the Keeper, they both tried to train her. They both failed. It was against Sentinel Law to kill without reason. She could not control her madenning lust to hunt. Just a trickle of blood... Just one more drop.

The urges, the cravings. They couldn't be surpressed that night. That night. Elaine snuck out of the Hall to hunt, but was caught. That stupid Archer bitch! Why did she have to stop her? Why did she have to make it worse?

She didn't have to call out for help. She just had to lie there, and die. Simple. But then more came, and the urges grow stronger.

Elaine had killed 7 Sentinels that night. She was tried, and was sentenced to death. Elaine ran. She ran from her duty.

Ooooh... deep.

[Queued Handle]

Suggestions: Don't use digits in your work. Written numbers, likes 'seven' are much better. Also, somethings are powerful when delivered short and sweet. But I think you over do it sometimes. More detail or description in some places would be nice.

Strengths: Very nice opening. Very nice. Also, the use of tabs and the formatting with spaces between paragraphs looks clean and nice. So props for that.

Final: Very intriguing story, could become really good with a little time :y-thumbsu

My first Night Elf story. Continued later on...


First? For a first it's great. Keep it up!

Well continue good sir, I am hooked.

Ditto.

If the Fan Fic master says it's good, then it's definately worth continuation!


It IS worth continuation. So, Bullroarer is the 'Fan Fic master'? Self proclaimed or named such by others? Worthy of the title or not? Must find answers. I'll need to go read some of his works soon.

When I came to this site, I heard there were several really good writers, some less frequent than others. Their names were, in no particular order, Bullroarer, Vagrant, Sumiyoshi, Flak, and Rowanseven. Of course, I know nothing of this, so I'll need to check out their respective works.

Ooooh... deep.

Indeed. Keep going while you've got the steam!

[Warpblade]

Okay... I'm going to be honest with you. Your writing style has serious issues with it, and the end result is less than desirable.

Your sentences are very structured in their sentence, form, and flow. There is little variation in the length or phrasing which by itself can put off many readers. Most of your sentences are simple - you almost completely lack complex, compound, or compound/complex sentences.

On top of that, your description is highly deficient. Sometimes, short and sweet works, but it generally does not. There is a balance that you need to reach between primer and purple prose - don't go overboard either.

In the context of the rest, "bitch" sounds highly out of place. Acolyte and archer don't have to be capitalized, and furthermore - the way you use those sound like you're pulling from game units. Try to avoid game units and terms, and go instead for a more realistic view of what she would think.

Describe things for what they are. A ballista is a ballista. An archer is an archer... in battle or on duty. Outside of that, he or she is a person. (or night-elf - you get my point)

Overall, you need to SHOW, not tell. Let us get the feeling of it without necessarily telling us outright. Use concrete details and image-laden diction.

Which is better?

She calmly walked around without any clear sense of destination in an abandoned building while constantly looking around for people to kill.
or
She calmly traipsed the derelict office building, scanning for victims.

Or think of this:
I hurled the ball.
I threw the ball.
I tossed the ball.
I projected the ball.

How is each different?

[SuRReAL OrC]

@Queued Handle: Bullroarer is the GOD of fanfic here. Infact, it's time for a chart!!!

|The Surreal Orc Forum God Chart
|---------------------------------------------------------
|Bullroarer-God of Fanfic
|Minty-God of Complainers
|CyberLlama-God of Awesome Replays
|Kingcrazygenius-God of High Post Counts
|KrewL RaiN-Goddess of Keeper Respawns
|SuRReAL OrC-God of Annoying 1337 Talk<------I'm so modest(z0rz) :toothy:
|disjuku-God of Anicats
----------------------------------------------------
|An Official Surreal Orc Chart

[Warpblade]

No, nonononono.

Vagrant is the God of this forum. No others.
Anairellan is the demi-God.
Katch-22 is a demi-Goddess.


DARN IT, I lost my copies of his stories!

[BraveLiver]

Lol. I threw, hurles, projected the ball sounds like the English exercises. Even funnier with the 'how is each different'. Anywho, funny, but true. I'll try and fix. I prefer to start fast, because slow beginnings usually lose readers. A little too fast, I guess.

Elaine was no longer running from her destined death. She couldn't feel the twigs snapping or her feet hitting the ground. She was where she was, standing, staring at the acolyte's head.

By now the pool of blood had expanded. Elaine noticed that her feet were in it. It was black, thick and sticky. It was revolting. Blood was all nice and well, but not undead blood.

"For the love of Elune!" she cried. She clasped her hands over her mouth quickly. I can't do that. I probably scared everything off, now.

Elaine picked up her glaive, and whiped it clean with a piece of material that resembled black velvet. Her father had given that to her while she was young. It was her washcloth. Elaine was always fascinates how it never became dirty, or even wet. Even now, there was no evidence that there was any form of blood on that material. Evercloth, that's what they called it.

Elaine heard movement in the distance. Her Night Elven eyes could easily make out the shapes. Ghouls. Lots and lots of ghouls. They were all quickly crawling to whatever they needed to. Elaine paused, watching for direction and speed, then sped off to intercept them.

I can't stop them all, but I can pick them off one by one.


I hope this one appeases everyone a bit more.

[Bullroarer]

Yo man, I am not the big cheese of the forum

Vagrant-best writer in different pov
Anarellian-best writer in first person
Sumiyoshi-best humor
Rowan Seven- best satire

Me, I am the forum underdog. I know I am not good, but I always get crazy and nutty ideas. Plus this forum gives me a chance to write my poems. I basically write, because writing is fun.

[SuRReAL OrC]

Yo man, I am not the big cheese of the forum

Vagrant-best writer in different pov
Anarellian-best writer in first person
Sumiyoshi-best humor
Rowan Seven- best satire

Me, I am the forum underdog. I know I am not good, but I always get crazy and nutty ideas. Plus this forum gives me a chance to write my poems. I basically write, because writing is fun.

Don't be humble Bullroarer. Your writing rocks. BTW Who's Vagrant? I guess he left before I joined or something?

[BraveLiver]

Never heard of anyone on that list at all...

[Inquisistor7]

Never heard of anyone on that list at all...

That just goes to show how much this forum has declined.

And Bullroarer is the heavyweight champion of this forum. He stole the belt from Sumi in a steel cage match fought with pencils and paper. The blood....the cuts....

[Bullroarer]

Dude you ever read odd bedfellow, sumi would eat bulls for breakfast. Surreal Orc what I tell you is true, indeed I am not one of the best authors on this forum, but thanks to a lot of help I have become a better writer. I don't know if I should, but perhaps I should repost son of the mountain king.

[FanMan]

I have the sinking feeling no one's even read Flak's Hunter Chronicles...

[Warpblade]

I have the sinking feeling no one's even read Flak's Hunter Chronicles...

I thinking we're going off topic here, but..

hmm, I tried it once. I don't know. It never really grabbed me and I ended up forgetting everything about it. Everybody has their preferences.

[Ogrey-Author]

Bullroarer > Sumi/Vagrant ?!!?

Thats complete crapp! Obviously u have never read odd bedfellows before or Vagrants never-ending stories.. No offense, bullroarer's very talented too i admit..being able to write different continous stories in a fast pace although english isn't his first subject..

-Braveliver.
Your fict is too short per post, and theres some spelling mistakes here and there like 'vains' instead of 'veins' You should post a deeper insight in your characters by describing more of them. Whats elaine like?! Fat? Slow? Stupid? Or a hunter of the night, a predator? Theres also come problems with ur sentence construction..

[BraveLiver]

Bullroarer > Sumi/Vagrant ?!!?

Thats complete crapp!... theres some spelling mistakes here and there

Lol. Just thought I'd point that out. Anyway...I'll post more later. Just woke up 10 mins ago, and brain's just not really going yet.

[Ogrey-Author]

Lol. Just thought I'd point that out. Anyway...I'll post more later. Just woke up 10 mins ago, and brain's just not really going yet.

I'm not sure if u take critism seriously, but i sure hope u do. Theres a distinct difference between writing a real, serious fic and chit-chatting on the internet where we use short forms, ignore spelling mistakes and drag our words on a regularrrrr basis. Whatever happens, good luck. :y-thumbsu

[Inquisistor7]

Bullroarer > Sumi/Vagrant ?!!?

Thats complete crapp! Obviously u have never read odd bedfellows before or Vagrants never-ending stories.. No offense, bullroarer's very talented too i admit..being able to write different continous stories in a fast pace although english isn't his first subject..


I have indeed read Odd Bedfellows, and it was amazing. I was merely joking around. The way the forum is now inclined me to honor Bullroarer (mainly because he posts so much here, which is great).

[FanMan]

A lot of things seem to have been forgotten, you can't really compare everything. Rosalyn was a great writer, as was Magical Cow, who was also a steady replyer until he disappeared. A lot of bad things have happened to this forum...but it's not dead. We writers, we endure.

Apologies to Brave Liver for spamming his thread.

As for replies, pretty much everything's been said. It's ok, but really short and kinda bland.

[Ogrey-Author]

Yea they were good.. And speaking of good writers, there was a writer reigning over the fourms here 3 years ago..he was much better than Vagrant actually. He slowly left after becoming a mod..and was in the OTF for a while. Hmm..and he had a skel as his avatar (the frost armor pic from wc3) Who remembers him?! I can't seem to recall his name..

EDIT: Ah, it was Dark. Dark something or just dark. Who remembers him anyway?

[Inquisistor7]

SaroDarksbane?

[BraveLiver]

Blah! I'm trying to change my writing style, but it will be a process, not a split-second change. This bit's a little longer!

Elaine suddenly stopped. She stood there, breathing heavily. She was searching, searching for something she was not sure of. Towering trees, two-hundred metres tall each, blocked the ghouls from sight. Short and fat bushes made it hard to tread through the area, while sudden elevation changes would make even the most careful person fall. Elaine reeked of sweat. Her scent was so strong that she could no longer smell the putrid odours of undeath.

Surprisingly enough, Elaine could tread these paths without difficulty. The ghouls must have been falling down constantly, as the moon could not shine through the trees' think branches. Elaine began to walk again. She did not remember why she had stopped. The walk soon became a run, and the hunt resumed.

Her hair whipped viciously through the wind as she sped between the trees. She evaded the trees like arrows. With Elaine's speed, a coming tree and a flying arrow moved at about the same rate.

Suddenly, Elaine stopped. Something was following her, and she knew what it was. She kneeled, and felt the damp moss on her knees. She placed her glaive on a rock in front of her, as if to make an offering. There was only one thing that was better than Elaine at hunting, only one discipline that could only be learned by males.

"You hunt well..." whispered a voice behind her, "It is truly a waste not to have one like you within the Sentinels."

Elaine just stayed where she was. She never made a move.

"Silent, are we?" His voice became full of rage. "At least you know your place, murderer!"

Elaine broke. Tears fell from her eyes, and she sobbed. "I didn't mean to..." She could barely work those words from her mouth.

"That's where you are wrong." The man's voice was rasp, and harsh. "There is a motive behind each choice, each action. If I were to kill you now, it would be because your actions have filled me with so much rage; it seems justified for me to take your life. However, there is always a motive for me NOT to kill you. I would be expelled from the Demon Hunter guilds if I were to take a Sentinel's life. You see? You had reason to kill those people, but I'm not sure if it was a bigger reason than yours for not killing them."

"Why are you torturing me like this? Does it give you pleasure?" Elaine whimpered.

The man was silent.

"ANSWER ME!" She yelled at him, as if she were pleading for her life.

"I'm blind, not deaf." He replied. A slight snicker was on his face. "I am not torturing you, I am helping you. Are you so wild now that you cannot accept help form on of your own kind?"

"You are NOT of my kind, outcast!" Elaine screamed.

Just then, a small pack of Ghouls emerged from the trees.


More dialogue! :bigclap:

BTW- Sorry for the DH quote, but it seemed appropriate at the time.

[SuRReAL OrC]

BTW- Sorry for the DH quote, but it seemed appropriate at the time.

It was funny. :lol:

[Ogrey-Author]

SaroDarksbane?

No, not him. It was just Dark. Dark 28. It has been a while now..

BraveLiver-
Now thats a better chapter. Its longer for one thing, and flows better with fair description..

[Bullroarer]

It was Darkest90

Much better liver that is brave

[Ogrey-Author]

Ah. Darkest90. He was damned good writer was he not..exceeding Vagrant himself in my opinon actually..

[BraveLiver]

Okay. We know who the authors are, but can this thread go back for what it's supposed to be? Please? Anywho, continuation.

The Ghouls stopped about six feet from Elaine and the Demon Hunter. Elaine still hadn't moved from her position. The Ghouls growled and made horrid noises at them. One of the Ghouls stood out especially. He was larger, and had some more meat on his bones.

"Is the Scourge still using these worthless pawns?" The Demon Hunter's taunt affected the Ghouls more than the reverse. "You'd think they would have just killed off the wretches. Probably better as corpses to make skeletons than what they are now."

The larger Ghoul walked a little closer. "I am Hunga'ar, one of the most powerful agents of Arthas' armies. How dare you insult my kind?"

"Arthas' armies? You have to be kidding me. Arthas' armies? Arthas was slain three months ago. You should have known that, o powerful agent." The Demon Hunter seemed to have spoken the truth. There was no hint of a lie in his voice.

"Don't make me laugh. Arthas slain? Impossible. There is no force in this entire world that could defeat the Lich King." The Ghoul was nervous. He was not sure if what he heard was true.

"Illidan never died. That's where Arthas made his mistake. Illidan ran soon after the Lich King merged with Arthas. He assembled his Naga armies, and he pushed a campaign straight through Northerend."

"It cannot be true! The Scourge would not fall so easily!"

"Then let us represent the two armies. Just you, and me."

And so it began. Elaine could not even hear the Ghoul make a sound, let alone a scream, before its blood splattered on her bare back. The rest of the Ghouls cowered, and stepped away from Elaine and the Demon Hunter slowly. They turned and ran.

"So, where were me?" The Demon Hunter did not even seem to care about the Ghoul he fought.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you about to kill me... or worse." Elaine was obviously mad at him. "Perhaps you'd even try to pleasure me. After all, your kind doesn't have any values whatsoever."

The Demon Hunter was infuriated. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PEOPLE!" Elaine could feel his blade on her throat. "Would you like to pretend you didn't say that?"

Elaine thought about her situation. In an instant he could slit her throat. Her blood would burst out. Her blood...bursting...Ghoul's blood on her back...BLOOD! She grabbed her glaive, and manoeuvred around so that her blade was on his.

"Well now, this is interesting." She had desire to push her blade that one extra, crucial inch.


I like to leave these kinds of endings. Keeps people reading, I think.

[FanMan]

Well, you've improved, but it seems with more text there are more mistakes. Remember, proofread-

"So, where were me?" The Demon Hunter did not even seem to care about the Ghoul he fought.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you about to kill me... or worse."

'Were we'

Look out for careless little mistakes like this. They occur do to distractions or random thoughts in mid-sentence, and then if you forget to proofread they linger.

'you were about to'

Remember your verbs. When proofreading, read a sentence out loud, just to make sure it sounds right.

Also, your setences can be a little short. A good tactic for making plain black on white to-the-point deliveries, but too much of it is too much.

'I walked the dog. It was black. It panted a lot. It drooled on the ground. It was gross.'

Get the picture? I bet this sounds better to you:

'I walked the black dog. It panted a lot, and drooled on the ground, which was quite gross.'

It's a wonder how much better text sounds if you replace some of those periods with commas or semicolons. Ask yourself, 'Do I need a period here?' Avoid run on sentences (I walked the dog, it was black, it panted a lot, and it drooled on the ground, and it was gross.), but also try and connect your story a bit.

Keep it up!

[Warpblade]

Corollary to his statements:

Run ons and fragments aren't always bad. If you have a very good reason for it, they can be extremely effective.

Run ons can be used to describe or promote an atmosphere of stress or hustle and bustle. Think of an out-of-breath person describing why they're out of breath.

Fragments can also be extremely effective for emphasis.

Work on varying sentence length. It's one of the greatest issues that a lot of younger people have in writing.

[BraveLiver]

Ouch. Lots of stupid typos this time. Where were me? Lol.

Explanation: The characters have bad grammar, not me.

[Flak]

Aren't the NE supposed to be SMART? Meh, whatever.

Oh, Warpblade, you know I didn't tell him not to use them. I simply said he was using them too much. In short, you repeated my post, as I myself said:

A good tactic for making plain black on white to-the-point deliveries, but too much of it is too much.

And you said:

Run ons and fragments aren't always bad. If you have a very good reason for it, they can be extremely effective.

It's not a corollary if it's the same exact thing :y-evil

[Warpblade]

Okay, I'll admit I wasn't fully lucid at the time. I've been going with too little sleep for a long time, and I go on and off from being extremely dazed to very clear-minded. Yesterday was of the dazed variety.

[Flak]

It's ok, both of our posts had really good points, albeit the same ones... :lol:

[BraveLiver]

Ok. I've heard about spelling and grammar, but let's here some comments on storyline. Slow, fast, boring?

[Flak]

Storyline? Definitely painfully slow. We need longer installments, or many more a day. It crawls along...

It's somewhat interesting, which is also what makes me crave for more. You know the lights in the kitchen attract the little critters that whisper:

"Must read more Elaine...Elaine is gooood..."

[BraveLiver]

A little bit more happens this time. And Elaine gets to stretch her legs a little.


Elaine lied there. The Demon Hunter stood there. Blade against blade.

"It's up to you to decide your fate, outcast." Elaine taunted him. She was in a good position now, sort of. At least it was better than kneeling on the ground with her head down without a weapon in her hand.

"Would you please stop calling me that? It is really difficult to see females anymore..."

"What? Why are you talking about women, now? Now of all times! I could kill you, and you're telling me that you're lonely?" She laughed in his face. He withdrew his blade, which put Elaine in the most awkward position yet. She still held her glaive up, but she wasn't sure what to do with it, him, or herself.

"My name is Jurmando, the Seeker. Long have I searched for a Village, where once again the Sentinels could be reunited. Maybe once again the intimate rituals could be done once again by our kinds."

"What in Elune's name are you talking about? We are in a battle, if you haven't noticed." Elaine was confused, and in a way mad. She withdrew her blade.

"You are just like the wives in the stories: you're confused and mad at times, but you'll never hold you challenge. Will you be my wife?"

"NO! And how dare you insult me!" Elaine was flustered in so many ways, but all that she showed was a slight blush. Did he ask me to marry him? Of course not! But look at his chest! NO!

"Could you at least show me where a Village is?" Jurmando didn't seem to have noticed Elaine's little weak moment.

"I am afraid I cannot, for I do not know where one is either. Just as you, I was exiled by my people. Only for me, I had actual reasons."

By now the sun had risen. The two had spent the rest of the night talking. A few rays of sunlight poured through the top of the trees, illuminating small stars along the forest floor. The mist of the morning began to flow through the trees, obscuring their view. Then again, they could see all that they needed.

Elaine told Jurmando the story of her 'exile', telling him that she wounded Sentinels, not murdered. After the story was finished, Elaine rose.

"I really must be going now; I must continue to track the pack of Ghouls. Do you know where they went?"

"No. I think they went westward, though. But before you go, would you like some clothes? I have some extra robes with me."

Elaine never thought of her being... as she was in front of him. "No. It is much easier to hunt without the strain of cloth and armour. Thank you for your generous offer."
"You are most welcome. I prefer you this way, anyway." A snicker pushed through his lips.

Elaine slapped him, straight across the face. Se then ran off, westward.

Jurmando felt his cheek. It stung. He smiled, and then sped after Elaine.


What good is any story without a love interest? I think Elaine needed one, just to show the weaker side of her.


Pssst. I think she likes him.

[Flak]

Maybe once again the intimate rituals could be done once again by our kinds.

No need to say once again twice.

[SuRReAL OrC]

"No. I think they went westward, though. But before you go, would you like some clothes? I have some extra robes with me."
Elaine never thought of her being... as she was in front of him. "No. It is much easier to hunt without the strain of cloth and armour. Thank you for your generous offer.""You are most welcome. I prefer you this way,anyway." A snicker pushed through his lips.Elaine slapped him, straight across the face. Se then ran off, westward.Jurmando felt his cheek. It stung. He smiled, and then sped after Elaine.

Always have to cram a naked female night elf into something, don't you Brave? :lol: It was funny, though.

[Flak]

Jeepers, this is why we need description! It's not like it's graphic or anything. Braveliver isn't a good enough author to do that :y-sneaky:

[BraveLiver]

Jeepers, this is why we need description! It's not like it's graphic or anything. Braveliver isn't a good enough author to do that :y-sneaky:

Having no descriptions is the whole fun of it! She's what you fancy her to be.

BTW- She's not nude, she's natural!



@Flak's first post: What would a Night Elf story be without one (or many, depending on how alone I feel that day)?

[BraveLiver]

Quick little post. Not much time so sorry if there are any errors.

And so the hunt began! Elaine chased the Ghouls, while Jurmando chased after her. There was something about Elaine that he had never felt before, some strange stomach clenching feeling that he could not get enough of. He loved the feeling that he had when he was around her. He was almost addicted to it, like some powerful drug that would not let one live without it.

Unfortunately for Jurmando, she was too fast. Soon she had sped off into the morning fog, and far out of his sight. He still chased, though. Then, he stopped. He remembered something he had been taught as a child. He remembered studying magic, when he stumbled upon a book that taught the Wardens of old how to use their magical capabilities. He remembered some spell, Wink, he thought it was called. Blink! That's what it was! He remembered being able to travel distances without effort.

Trying to recall how it was done, Jurmando sat on the ground. He soon felt something kick his back, and then whatever it was fell over him. It was Elaine.

"How is it that you appear out of nowhere?" Elaine asked.

"I'm not sure..." replied Jurmando.

"Well, next time ou decide to magically appear, please do so where I won't trip over you." She burst out laughing.

"I'll try." Jurmando did not find this all that funny. He felt that feeling again. Elaine stopped laughing, but he didn't notice. She watched him for a while, and saw his confusion inside.

"It's love." She said. Jurmando suddenly jerked his head up.

"What?" He didn't seem to hear her.

"That feeling you get around me." Elaine was calm, and her voice comforted Jurmando.

"What about it?" Jurmando didn't have the slightest clue what Elaine was talking about.

"It's love!" Elaine smiled as she blurted those two words out. They would stay in Jurmando's mind forever.


I'm enjoying this little relationship I've created. I'll keep them hunting, but for now I think they need a relationship. Why? Because I said so!

[Flak]

Having no descriptions is the whole fun of it! She's what you fancy her to be.

BTW- She's not nude, she's natural!



@Flak's first post: What would a Night Elf story be without one (or many, depending on how alone I feel that day)?

:lol: :lol:

Come on man, even HENTAI DATING SIMS have set descriptions! Aren't you above that? As for nude or natural, glaives aren't very natural. Though I guess she could hide herself from those perverted Ghouls with it :y-thumbsu

'Cuz Ghouls be into ****!

Er, yeah. Dirty undead bastards and the like.

He remembered studying magic, when he stumbled upon a book that taught the Wardens of old how to use their magical capabilities

Did he have someone to read it for him? He's blind, not deaf.

"Well, next time ou decide to magically appear, please do so where I won't trip over you." She burst out laughing.


That would be YOU. Please, at least SPELL CHECK! Also, if she tripped over him, wouldn't she be in a rather compromising position? And she's 'natural', right? So desu ne? :lol:

"It's love." She said.[/quote

"It's love," she said.

FOLLOW RULE NUMBER TWO! Seriously, if Warp-sensei gives you all that info, at least USE IT!

[quote]Elaine smiled as she blurted those two words out.
Bitchin'.
Whore.
All that stuff. Wow. She's either schizo, spaztic, or a slut. I prefer to think it's the second one.

I'm enjoying this little relationship I've created. I'll keep them hunting, but for now I think they need a relationship. Why? Because I said so!

*gets out binocs* Ooo, romance and possible hentai!

Seriously, blind dudes would be bAYAd in bed.

[BraveLiver]

Not much time so sorry if there are any errors.

Yeah. And what's Hentai?

As for reading, I assumed that the blinding ritual came later...

[Flak]

Those weren't exactly issues, at this point I'm just poking fun at you or making comments.

Hentai is anime porn.

[Inquisistor7]

This story is not bad, not bad at all. I would like longer installments, but I can't have everything go my way. Aside from the brevity and some grammatical mistakes I am enjoying this.

[Flak]

This story is not bad, not bad at all. I would like longer installments, but I can't have everything go my way. Aside from the brevity and some grammatical mistakes I am enjoying this.

Pervert :y-dunce: :lol: :lol: :lol: :bigclap:

[BraveLiver]

Hentai is anime porn.

And you'd know, wouldn't you. Anyway... longer installments? BAH! Too long for my taste already, but maybe I'll think about it.

[BraveLiver]

I guess it's acceptable anyway. I just saw ads for 'Sexy photo personals'.

With Elaine??

[Flak]

I am informed. As I said, I know way too much for my own good. Now leave me be, you demon of wub!

Anyhoo...

Hey, Brave, were you gonna make a war3 map based on this too? 'Cuz if not, I call it! :bigclap:


Mwahahahahahahahaha :y-evil: :y-evil: :y-evil: :y-evil: too much EVIL! :y-evil: :y-evil: :y-evil: :lol:

It wouldn't let me put a lot of smilies...which was pretty :g-sick2: of it.

[SuRReAL OrC]

Hey, Brave, were you gonna make a war3 map based on this too? 'Cuz if not, I call it!

I want to see the Elaine model. :lurv:

[Flak]

Bleh...I can't model.

[SuRReAL OrC]

:y-thumbsd

[Inquisistor7]

Pervert :y-dunce: :lol: :lol: :lol: :bigclap:

Watch your tongue! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some hentai... err, I mean anime to watch! Yes, and the girls in it are very modestly dressed and and and, shutup!

[Flak]

Watch my tongue? What ever are you talking about, Ero Sennin?

"KAKAKAKA STURIKU!"

"How...how the hell...am I supposed to concentrate with his stupid perverted face in my head?"

[Inquisistor7]

Watch my tongue? What ever are you talking about, Ero Sennin?

It's Gamma Sennin....lol (I know that one of us would bring that up).

Oh, and BraveLiver, sorry for spamming. I just want more descriptions of a certain female Night Elf who runs through the forests and...oh yeah....;)

[Flak]

Gome nasai, sensei!

"Three things a ninja should never touch: money, women, and drink."

*shot of Jiraiya enjoying himself having spent Naruto's money of women and drink*

OK, I swear that's the last bit of spam from me.

[BraveLiver]

Sorry for the incredible space between posts, but I'm having some internet problems. I'm lucky that I actually got connected now. I won't be posting until my internet's back.

God damn you, Rogers!

[BraveLiver]

Hey, all! Rogers stopped screwing up so I'm back. Anywho, I have a question that's crucial to the continuation of Elaine's life...

Do Night Elves have sharp teeth, or are they just like ours?

[MysticWolf]

I thinkt hey are jsut like ours, perhaps flatter, becuase they do not seem carniverous in nature

[Flak]

I believe Wolf has a good point. Though, to add to his spiel, their teeth would be sexy.

[BraveLiver]

The next installment is completed, and I hope you all will thoroughly enjoy this one. I enjoyed writing it.

Elaine dashed off to hunt again. This time, Jurmando did not follow. He stood there, examining the ground, the great oak trees, and the insects that flew around his face. The forest was humid, and the ground was soft. It was almost disgusting to walk around in. Jurmando was not actually examining his surroundings, but thinking about what Elaine last said. "It's love," she said. Jurmando thought more about what she said; trying to figure out whether what Elaine had said was true.

"Could it be that I have actually fallen in love with a woman?" Jurmando was stupefied. "It has been an extremely long time since the Demon Hunters and the Sentinels have had such feelings for each other. I truly wonder: Should I take advantage of this, to break the feud between our two peoples? I would be a great hero among our people..." He thought about that one word, "our".

"I will need a representative to speak to both the Sentinels and the Demon Hunters, one who has the blood of both cultures. I must mate with Elaine." Jurmando sped off, with speed he had never known before. Something controlled his actions, something more animal than civilized.

Jurmando could smell Elaine now. He could smell her sweat. This only made him push harder to get to her, to perform the ritual with the other culture. Up ahead Elaine still ran.

Then she stopped. She could hear Jurmando's wild footsteps crashing behind her. She looked behind herself, and even though Jurmando was a good way behind, she could see him with her acute eyes. She looked closer, and saw that Jurmando was now running in the same amount of garb as she. Elaine gasped, and then an almost devious smile appeared on her face. Quickly, she dropped all her weapons, and sped back towards Jurmando. She knew what he wanted.

When Jurmando and Elaine met, they performed the ritual like the wild beats of the land. Elaine screamed, and then everything stopped. Jurmando laid there, his mouth wide open, his eyes full of surprise, and his neck broken.

"Men," said Elaine, as she spat on the ground, "are so easy to corrupt, and corrupt. I almost feel bad for him. However, I won't. He's an outcast, and it means nothing to me if he's dead."

Elaine ran back to her weapons, and she darted back to the corpse with her glaive in hand. It was an easy cut, and his head came off smoothly. She ties his hair around her neck, so that she wouldn't have to carry it by hand. It felt like a heavy necklace.

Elaine then looked on the back of her glaive, and read an inscription. She then vanished.

Well... I bet you didn't see THAT coming! Where did she vanish to? And why?

[SuRReAL OrC]

Whoa, harshness on Elaine's part.

[BraveLiver]

Yup. This is where the beefy part of the plot begins. I hate to have actual relationships in my stories, but it's fun to lead people to believe something, and then turn it upside down on them.

NOTE: In case you haven't noticed, Elaine hunts more than beasts and Undead.

[Flak]

She seems like a crazy rapist to me.

Anyhow, good chapter. I personally don't like the twist...the Demon Hunter was my favorite character.

[SuRReAL OrC]

Yeah, Jurmando was cool. Make a DK com and rez his arse, but make Jurmy get free and kill him and come and find Elaine in her sleep and say " Im goona kill joo, but do me first, beeyatch!" And she's like "Yeah, lets make babies!" And bam, you just started the first part of your softcore porn story!

[MysticWolf]

that has to be the stupidest idea i have ever heard. . . . . undead cant have babies, its more, "ohh **** me please"

[BraveLiver]

Jurmando was really more of an intro to the actual story, but he'll play a pretty big part while he's still dead and headless. Do I think I'll resurrect Jurmando? Probably not. However your suggestion seems to be growing on my. Next installment!

Giant stone pillars surrounded Elaine, but most of her surroundings where still a little bit blurry. Teleportation always had that annoying side effect. Elaine's vision became clearer, and she saw the tranquility of the forest shrine around her. Enormous grey pillars stood as tall as the trees, while butterflies and birds fluttered through the air. She could see the grandiose wooden cabin in front of her, bearing a symbol of the moon with a knife through it.

Elaine walked up to it front gates, and pushed through them. It was impossible to distinguish the gates from the walls. There were no handles, no windows, and no space between the two doors. Inside the cabin, Elaine could see many other Sentinels. Most of them were men; big, strong men. As more of the men looked to identify who had walked in, the room became more silent. The men stared.

Elaine had not realized that she had failed to clothe herself before her return. "By Elune!" she shouted, "I doubt this is the first time you've seen an unclothed woman. Then again, what woman would want to be unclothed before you?"

Elaine's words caused uproar, while a woman came and led Elaine to her chamber. Before she could settle in her room, the woman returned with a fresh set of garments. "Thank you," said Elaine, embarrassed, "I don't know how much longer those men were going to stare at me."

"We all have our little fantasies from time to time." The woman seemed wise, yet she was so young. She was only three, maybe four hundred years old.

"Perhaps you're right, but should fantasies not stay in one's head?" It was Elaine's turn to sound wise.

"True. My name is Herata. Although I still have not passed my Tests, I still consider myself more worthy than any of those men. How many tests have you passed?"

"I've passed all of them, Herata. I've killed at least one Sentinel, Undead creature, and of course, Demon Hunter. By the way, my name is Elaine."

"Well done, Elaine. Although I have no idea how you slew a Demon Hunter, you have proof of his death around his neck. If you've finished your tests, would you like me to call for the Great Hunter?"

"No, it's alright. I can call for him myself. If you'd excuse me, I'd like to be alone for a little while."

"That wish I can grant. Goodbye, Elaine." Herata left the chamber, and closed the door behind her. Elaine stared at the door for a few seconds, and then she began to weep. She took the lifeless head off her neck, and then embraced the only man she ever loved.


See? Jurmando still has an impact. i still have more in store for him, other than the posibility of resurrection.

Also, this chapter may be a little confusing for now, but it will make a lot more sense in the next chapter. The next chapter will also bring Elaine to the status that the title of this thread bears.

[Flak]

Interesting, interesting. Nice chapter. I've also noticed that the blatant errors in your text have become much fewer. This improves the read a bunch. Good work!

Though as to your spiel in the FF Central Thread, as I shall call it, hate to break it to ya, but your thread is more like the casual thread where it feels easier to spam. Arak Nerub and Auctoritas Dictatorum would be the most 'popular' stories on the board.

:y-pet:

[Bullroarer]

Your story looks promising, but you must put your heart and soul into it. Be more descriptive. Become Elaine, see things through her eyes. Write your chapters more vividly and with passion you shall be surprised at what you are capable of.

[Pretzel]

AHHH? Why did you stop?? I was getting into it! START START START!

[MysticWolf]

he posted a section today, jeeze calm down it takes a while to write a good stoyr, or even a short essay for that matter, if you had half a brain you might now that

[Flak]

Mysticwolf, I tire of seeing your mindless trolling. Pretzel's obviously a bit overenthusiastic, is that a bad thing? Hyperactive number one to save the day! Come on Mystic, it's not cool to go around calling others stupid.

Pretzel liked the tale, so he is enthusiastic about it. Not stupid. Enthusiastic.




Geez, this is why the FFF needs a moderator.

Wolf, our past transgressions aside, why DO you call everyone dumb? Are you bitter because they don't worship the devil like you do? Reasons, reasons. It'd be easier to analyze and solve the problem if we knew the reasons. Until someone actually transgresses though, I will ask you to stop calling people dumb.

[Pretzel]

I like Flak. He makes me feel happy. Thank you flak.

And for your information. I DO have more than half a brain. Although, the average human doesnt use even use 20% of their brain.

[Flak]

Meh, your welcome for what's worth :bigclap:

[BraveLiver]

I like Flak. He makes me feel happy. Thank you flak.

And for your information. I DO have more than half a brain. Although, the average human doesnt use even use 20% of their brain.

13%


Moving on, I see there have been more conversations, which gives me mixed emotions. I like the fact that people feel comfortable in my thread, but I'm not sure that I like that most posts are off-topic.

Anyway, Elaine's future has been requested, so I'll give you more...

For hours, Elaine forgot everything around her while mourning Jurmando's murder. She felt almost as if someone else killed him, and that some vile assassin leapt through the forest branches only to kill him.

Suddenly, Elaine could see a light in the corner of her eye, and she could feel some warmth coming from it. She jerked her head upwards, and the bed she was sitting on creaked. Herata stood by the fireplace, a log poker in her hand.

"Assassin!" shrieked Elaine as she brutally charged Herata. Elaine had Herata up against the wooden walls, holding her up only by her throat. Herata could feel splinters pushing through her flesh as Elaine pushed her further upwards.

"El...aine... I... cannot bre... bre-breathe!" Herata was now desperately fighting for her life. Elaine smiled. Herata must have murdered Jurmando. She must have been the forest assassin. Now Elaine was next.

Elaine choked Herata viciously, waiting for her heartbeat to stop. Elaine then felt a cold object impale her arm. She released Herata, and looked at her arm. The log poker. Elaine now bled a large amount of blood. Her vision went out of focus, and then it was blurry. Next, she felt as if she fell, and her vision was black.

"What in Elune's name was she doing?" Herata was frightened now. "What should I do? She is still alive, but what should I do with her?" Herata quickly left the chamber in order to call the Great Hunter.

His strides were slow. His footsteps were loud. His presence induced fear. He saw Elaine. Almost as if past events were repeating themselves, the Great Hunter pushed Herata against the wall, choking her.

"Have you wounded another hunter?" His voice was commanding. "Answer me!"

"Yes! Yes! I'm sorry! Please let me l-" Herata's words were replaced by a horrible scream, and the smell of burning flesh filled the room. The Great Hunter had thrown her into the fire, where she would never leave.

Elaine began to wake. Her vision was blurry, and the room smelled putrid. Her arm ached. The Great Hunter walked up to her, and ripped the poker out. All Elaine saw him as was an immense figure. The removal of the poker did not hurt her.

Two more Hunters, not even close to as grandiose as the Great Hunter, stepped through the room. They grabbed one arm of Elaine each, and dragged her across the halls. The Great Hunter carried Jurmando's head. Elaine was pulled into a large, marble-walled room. There was a great podium, filled with Night Elf blood.

"You are here because you have passed the tests, Elaine. It is time to bear the mark of the Hunter." As if rehearsed, the two Hunters carried Elaine up to the podium. They put her arm over the bowl-shaped basin of blood. The Great Hunter came with a blade, and swiftly, and skilfully, cut Elaine's arms to make a symbol: A moon with a knife through it.

For those who don't know, elaine's in denial of her murder. And for the symbol, you will see the same one in the previous chapter carved on the cabin.

[Inquisistor7]

It seems odd to me that Elaine could rationalize something as vivid as a murder, that is, she didn't seem sorry about it earlier. I mean she seems to be presented as a cold hunter at some points and a helpless victim of events at another. Now that is not inherently bad, if indeed that is what is happening, it just means that in order to understand why that happens we will require more knowledge of her character.

[Flak]

Elaine now bled a large amount of blood.

*cough*

Bad sentence. The last few chapters, I was getting more comfortable, but this chapter felt...off somewhat. I can't quite place it, but it moved WAY too fast, and it was like a short, rough road leading to the end of a cliff.

I look forward to your next chapter, hopefully, better.

[Pretzel]

It was good, but is seemed like part of the stroy was missing. It's as if you have the story planned out in your mind, so you forget that we don't know what you do. I liked it though.

[BraveLiver]

It was good, but is seemed like part of the stroy was missing. It's as if you have the story planned out in your mind, so you forget that we don't know what you do. I liked it though.

I didn't like that chapter much either. But I'm not sure I understand what you're saying...

[Pretzel]

It seemed as though part of the stroy was missing. The reason I thought it might be is because you know things that we don't know. So it may have seemed clear to you, but not to us.

[MysticWolf]

Flak, i call people stupid when they do stupid things, a lot of the time i am being sarcastic, i also just dont like overenthusiastic people. And by the way, i dont call everyone stupid, just people that are overanxious, and dont think before they post things, if Pretzel had thought of when BL made his last post, he would have known he made it the same day Pretzel made his post, therefore, it is an idiotic thing to thinkt hat a writer is able to write 2 chapters a day. It is hard for people to write 1 chapter a day, and if they do that, the story seems rushed

And as for the last part, it was good, it left a lot to be thought on, and that is the mark of good writer, always keep your audience thinking about wht is going to happen

[Flak]

Ignorants aren't stupid. Is a child stupid because they don't understand sex? Seriously, MW, I'm glad that you see a humane side to what you're doing but it just isn't right. It's unpleasant.

[BraveLiver]

Yeah, I know. The last chapter blew. But it was important... somewhat. Anyway, something actually happens in this one.

BTW- Sorry for extremely long wait, I just didn't have any inspiration. None at all...

All of the years of slaying had come to an end. Elaine had passed the tests that she needed to be admitted into the secret cast: the Hunters of the Night. She had a bloody past behind her, and she had a bloody future ahead of her. However, there was plenty of time for Elaine to stay in her quarters and rest.

The symbol-shaped scar on her arm stung. Elaine would frequently spend time analyzing it, and wondering how the Great Hunter could make a cut that looked like an artist's picture. The Moon with a knife through it. Elaine was amazed at how something so beautiful could hurt so much.

Unfortunately, this cut was not all of her problems. Lately, Elaine had been very nauseous, and she vomited randomly at times. She blamed it on her sorrow for Jurmando. It had been over a month now since she killed him. The denial had ended. All Elaine could do was mourn. Her problems became no better, as no other Hunter would ever be very friendly with Elaine. It was almost as if they didn't expect Elaine to be a Hunter for long.

Elaine could not think of any way for her to be banned from this society. For the most part, all who became a Hunter stayed a Hunter. This puzzled Elaine for weeks, and it was five months after she was initiated until someone decided to call her "friend". This elderly Night Elf woman never spoke her name. No Hunter lived that remembered the only time she had told her name. Most just called her "Elder". Elaine was very grateful for this new acquaintance, for she had been very concerned lately. She felt as if she wasn't hunting enough lately, because she was becoming fat. Elaine blamed it on how much she ate, so she slowed her eating. This only made her feel worse. Also, no matter how much she ate, it always felt as if her stomach was wrong. It moved oddly, and it hurt.

Elaine had now felt completely settled in to the cabin. She knew where everything was. She had now resided with the Hunters for almost nine months. At this point, Elaine thought nothing new would happen. She was wrong. Elder walked in to her room, her face grave, but with a faint hint of joy. Elder put her hand on Elaine's now fat stomach. Elaine was uncomfortable with this. Elder then said: "Elaine, my dearest friend. You haven't seemed to notice... I feel I must tell you... You are having a baby. It will be out soon."

Memories of past events swirled through Elaine's mind. Memories of men, memories of Jurmando. It must have been him. He must have finished before Elaine had finished him. Elaine now had an irresistible sense of joy. This was exactly what Jurmando wanted. A child born of Sentinel and Demon Hunter blood. It was his legacy.

Elder spoke again. "Do not be happy. All women who have children are exiled from the Hunters at once. It will be a very hard life for you. At this point, neither Sentinel nor Demon Hunter will house you or your child because of the crimes you have committed."

Elaine's face changed from glee to utter horror.


I TOLD you that Jurmando would still play an important part later on. I had this planned out. In truth, I hate the Hunter cabin parts. They're boring. Now, something will have to happen.

[Pretzel]

well.. it was a little... goofy at the start . I can see how it would work out. You seamed to be paying less attention to your sentance structure. Not very much imagery either. You should describe the setting more. It will seam less empty. I like the direction tho. Make her son/daughter kill all the Hunters as vengeance for exiling his mom, and describe every death really vivdly. That would rock.

[Flak]

*nods fist*

As you get further into the story, don't let it carry you away from your writing skills.

[Inquisistor7]

Aside from what other have said, this installment was full of seemingly random events.

[MysticWolf]

They werent random, it was transitioning to a later time, what was said in that was needed to be said, oh and by the way flak, dont say i have human qualities, its insulting

[Flak]

They werent random, it was transitioning to a later time, what was said in that was needed to be said, oh and by the way flak, dont say i have human qualities, its insulting

How thoughtless and careless of me, wolf brother. My most sincere apologies.

[BraveLiver]

Ever had one of those times where you have another important event coming up, but are unsure of how to link it to your story. Well, I finally got past that. I suggest reading the last chapter again to refresh yourself. This I think is the chapter that made the most sense in a long time. Anyway, Elaine's life continues...

Elaine could not bear what she was told. A tear quickly rolled down her cheek, and it was not the last to do so. She would be cast out of what she had worked so hard to be part of. Elaine would no longer be a Hunter of the Night. She would be no more than an assassin... a murderer. There was no place for Elaine now, and she contemplated suicide.

Suddenly, a sharp pain rushed through Elaine's loins. She knew that the child would now be born.

-Censored Section-

Her daughter cried as if the world was ending. Elder's face was filled with sadness. She sat on the bed beside Elaine.

"I will be sorry to see you go, my child." She spoke reassuringly. "But before you go, I would like to know what you shall name her. She is a very beautiful baby."

Elaine examined the baby, who was now in her arms. Every second that passed made Elaine grow graver. "I shall not name her." Elaine was now infuriated. "I have no daughter! I will not sacrifice all I have worked for... for this bastard child!"

"I will bring her to the closest Sentinel village tonight. By tomorrow morning, this girl will not exist to me." Elaine was determined to throw her firstborn away.

"Calm down, Elaine! You are clearly confused right now!" Elder's voice overpowered Elaine's.

"You will not speak!" Elaine cried back, matching the Elder's vocal power. The door slammed open. Elaine dropped her child onto the bed with surprise. The Great Hunter stormed in.

"What is with all this shouting?" His voice sounded like it was a powerful storm. He looked around, and saw the child. "What is this, a child? Whose is it?"

Elaine didn't wait for a second before stating "It's Elder's. She wanted my help to deliver the child. She is the whore here." The Great Hunter stared at Elder with rage.

"It isn't mine..." Elder could barely speak. The Great Hunter's stare was that terrifying. "It isn't mine," she repeated.

The same two Hunters that took Elaine to be marked walked in, and walked out just as quickly with Elder being dragged out. "IT ISN'T MINE! IT ISN'T!" Elder shrieked as she was being dragged. That's the last Elaine ever heard of her.

The Great Hunter spoke. "Take the child to the Teacher. She shall be trained to be a Hunter." He left. Elaine took her daughter to the Teacher, and took careful note of her child's dorm.

That night, Elaine sneaked through the halls. They were made of olive-green coloured wood. She reached her daughter's dorm, and she swept in. She covered the child's mouth, and then Elaine ran out of the Hall of the Hunters. She ran through the moonlit forest. She felt the cold, soft touch of dirt on her bare feet again. She could see a faint blue light close by.

Elaine darted along the now visible path. As she drew closer to the village, she slowed her pace. She moved ever slower, until she was sneaking between the houses. Her daughter was asleep in her arms. Elaine looked at it with an unimaginable hate.

Elaine punched through a window, waking all within the area. The child cried as Elaine tossed it through the window onto the resident's bed inside. She ran back to the Hall.

That was the last Erika ever saw of Elaine for a very long time.

Yeah, I named the child. And this is where the story will cross over for a little while. I'll start writing about Erika as I organize my ideas for her.

No, I don't thinbk she'll end up with Jurmando's son (I don't think he has one, anyway)

[Inquisistor7]

This installment was better than many of the previous ones and it made sense.

[BraveLiver]

Now we see Erika's part of the story for a while...

"Priestess Oakmoon!" cried a male Sentinel as he ran towards her. Erika turned her mount around to face the obviously distressed man. Her silver armour jingled as she spun. The man was young. He could not be more than two hundred years old. He wore simple fur garments, and had very long hair.

"How may Elune help you?" she asked. Her voice was soft and reassuring. Erika was certainly someone you'd feel comfortable about talking to. "Is there something wrong?"

"Orcs, my lady." He explained. "They are charging through the hills to the West. Our scouts just found them a few days ago. They are heading for the Alliance camp by the river."

Erika didn't hesitate before calling out: "Huntresses! On your mounts, now!" Many women carrying tower shields and glaives jumped on top of black panthers and then approached Oakmoon.

"We are ready," a Huntress reported. "Direct our wrath." About forty of these mounted warriors stood beside Erika, all willing to do whatever she required. Some shifted on their panthers, making their armour grind against itself.

"We are not attacking today," explained Erika. "We are on a scouting mission. Orcs have been spotted. We must watch and make sure that they will not violate their treaty with the Alliance." She stopped speaking for a moment, allowing the Huntresses to absorb what they heard. "We ride west!"

The ground rumbled as all the mounts sped across the grassy plains. They left the tall and beautiful buildings of their village behind. The watchtowers sank below the horizon in a matter of minutes. The grass crinkled with every step of Erika's white tiger. The trees that sped past along the sides of their path grew more and more frequent. It was not long before the mounts were pouncing between the trees inside a forest.

Erika loved the forest during the day. The golden sun that spilled through the treetops making the ground seem to be more copper than dirt. She loved the way that she didn't have to use Ultravision to see what was ahead of her. She loved the sun.

Three hours had passed since the departure when the Sentinels exploded from the tree line to meet a new set of plains. Although it did not seem like it, it would still be another day before Erika and her riders would be able to see the Orcs.

In truth, Erika had never seen an Orc before. She knew that they were large, green and muscular. Other than that, she only knew their basic culture. The books back home really didn't have much written on the Horde. Most only had a paragraph or two, while others were good enough to include sketches of the Orcs. Erika always wondered what the female Orcs were like. The books never talked about the Orcish women.

"Priestess Oakmoon!" called a Huntress. "The Orcs!" Erika shifted her gaze. A large group of large creatures ran eastward towards Erika.

What are they doing this close? she wondered.

I'm surprised I got so little feedback. Maybe people just haven't looked. Elaine must have been gone too long.

Maybe my newer installments will spark things again.

[Inquisistor7]

Pretty good. The desrciptions were good, and there were no grmmatical mistakes I noticed. Anyway, I find it interesting that a night elf would like the daylight so much.

[MysticWolf]

well, pretty interesting so far, but will the story still include Elaine, or is Erika now the main charactar, anyways, you might wanna try and make your installments a little longer, they are kinda short

[Pretzel]

I like the plaught, but I couldn't tell how long it had been. If some1 ooked young to erika at age 200, than this hs been clearly more that 200 ryears. you should have cleared that up. Also, you shoudlnt say you in your story.

[TheNewHorde]

I know it may not fit the stuff ur talking about right now... but I read the forum about the whole Elaine, hunter of the night thingy. And the first forum you guys talked about guy named Dark. Someone said Darkest90 and someone said a really long name with senodarksomething and one surprise me is someone also said Dark 28. Do you refer to Darky28? Cause if it is, it's probably because he have his own forum now and as far as I can tell, he is more of a warcraft map/campaign/modeling/skinning/triggering type of guy. It have never hit me as a story writer. If your curious, his site is Edit: Flak says: Sorry buddy, no linkings. (and now you can ignore me and continue with your story, it's very good, I likes it.)

[Flak]

I admit it has improved. Good work, Braveliver!

[TheNewHorde]

I'm sorry, didn't know, won't do it again.

[Flak]

It's ok, dude. I don't ban on first offense unless its grave, especially not for people who haven't seen the forum rules thread in the OTF. :y-square:

[TheNewHorde]

Um... another horrible question. When is the timeline? after the third war? Cause the NE didn't know the green skins until the third war. (unless you count Broxigar in) but Broxigar was mainly serving Tyrande and helps Shandris and fight some fel hounds and fel guards, the NE didn't pay much attention to him the first time Burning Legion invaded because Rohnin and Krasus grabbed all the attention by knowing spells and sorcery that the moon guards never learned before.

(P.S. very off topic now, I think I figured out what happened. Remember how Malfurion said "as was fortold" when he was first talking to tyrande in ROC? Well, I bet it was Krasus or Rhonin told him that the Burning Legion would reture to Kalimdor ten thousand years later. And Cenarius said "I've defeated you kind in the ages past, and I shall do so again." in the grom hellscream level, so I think something must have happen to Broxigar that made the demigod fight him. Anyone who have any ideas about what happen to Broxigar and Rhonin before the answers comes out? If you have any ideas or guesses, can you e-mail them to me so I can think of it also? Or put ur ideas in my forum can work. "NewHorde@aol.com" Changed it so it doesn't link ^_^ Now please return to the story, of course.)

[BraveLiver]

Sorry for long delays, but my new sidestory thing is still being organized.

NOTE FOR TIMELINE: In post #28, Jurmando tells us that at that point, it was three months after Arthas was slain. Erika is born about a year after Arthas' death.

There is no specific year, because I'm not that knowledgable about the real WC storyline.

Erika is three hundred and nine years old at this point. She is still young.

Much has happened since we left Elaine off. The Humans and Orcs have signed a treatee stating that no war will occur between the two parties.

Although not written yet, the Dwarves were eliminated by the Scourge. The Human 'Alliance' is now composed entirely of Humans. However, they are trying to replicate much of the Dwarven technology their allies used.

[TheNewHorde]

Ok... the explaination did not help at all... after Arthas dies??? Arthas is still alive and he is the final victor of warcraft. He became the most powerful creature ever known to Anzeroth, even more powerful than the demi gods. (Except the demons, they don't belong in Anzeroth.)
This was stated at World of Warcraft community site

[Flak]

Sorry for long delays, but my new sidestory thing is still being organized.

NOTE FOR TIMELINE: In post #28, Jurmando tells us that at that point, it was three months after Arthas was slain. Erika is born about a year after Arthas' death.

There is no specific year, because I'm not that knowledgable about the real WC storyline.

Erika is three hundred and nine years old at this point. She is still young.

Much has happened since we left Elaine off. The Humans and Orcs have signed a treatee stating that no war will occur between the two parties.

Although not written yet, the Dwarves were eliminated by the Scourge. The Human 'Alliance' is now composed entirely of Humans. However, they are trying to replicate much of the Dwarven technology their allies used.

C'mon, that was kinda lame. Isn't it better to inform us all that through the story rather than 'timeline info'?

[Webbicles]

this a noob's first thread, so if i do something dumb let me know.
I finished this story and it was good, but I think you need to put more passion into it. plus, a naked night elf was, to me, amusing. but it seems to be dragging a little bit. what's the point? when's it gonna end?

[TheNewHorde]

True, the naked NE was pretty amuzing. But aside from the timeline. Another thing interests me.

How did the demon hunter manage to get his liquid out before his head was chopped off? He must be extremely experienced to get it out in such a short time... Have he been practicing with other NE females? I thought he was an outcast, why would other NE females wanna do it with him? So much questions... So little answers...

Second question, won't she get tired after they done it? How did she still muster the strength to grab the glaive without the demon hunter notice? If it were me, I would probably be tired to death. (Not that I know how it feels like, because i'm still virgin, and proud to be one.)

[KillAllZerg]

(Not that I know how it feels like, because i'm still virgin, and proud to be one.)


Dude :y-mm: ...no one needed to kown that... :g-shake:

[Pretzel]

As you said, he did it really fast. It's hard to ge tired THAT fatst.

[BraveLiver]

Thi is a half-chapter, because I couldn't finish it before work. I'll finish it tonight or tomorrow. I'll also respond to posts. All I'll say now is: "You asked, so you got. Don't whine about it."

"Prepare arms!" commanded Erika. "I don't want to take any chances!"

A Huntress darted towards Erika. She spoke. "Why would the Hordelings be attacking us? I think you should reconsider your order."

"Trust in my command," reassured Erika, "and you will survive this battle."

The ravenous Orcs drew closer. The leader of this raid carried a large hammer for as his weapon. His armour was gold coloured, with a red shoulder plate on his left shoulder. He was extremely strong for an Orc, and he noticed that the Sentinels up ahead were readying their glaives, while the leader knocked an arrow. "Stop!" he cried. His raid stopped.

Durk, the leader, ran out alone to meet the Night Elves. He turned to look back from time to time to make sure no one from his party was following him. Noticing that running with his hammer ready might make him look hostile, he put it away in a holster on his back.

Durk caught up with Erika. "Moon Priestess!" he addressed. "We need your aid in this war. I, Durk the True, was sent to bring aid in battle."

"Foul beast!" shouted Erika. She was outraged that the Orcs would seek aid in a war that they ended. The Humans and Orcs shouldn't have been fighting anymore.

[Flak]

Dude :y-mm: ...no one needed to kown that... :g-shake:

Indeed. The scene was not graphic, as is forbidden by forum rules, however the discussion is becoming inappropriate. Please refrain.

[BraveLiver]

Completed the last chapter.

"What right has been given to you that states that you could attack them? To make matters worse you call upon Sentinels, the ones who reinforce the treaty more than anything else, to break the treaty?" Erika barked at the brutes in front of her.

Durk had a puzzled look on her face. "The Alliance broke it first, but we keep our honour by not attacking them."

Erika looked at Durk, who was standing his ground in this political battle quite well. "Are you not attacking them now?"

"No."

This struck Erika as very strange. "Then what are you doing with a raid party?"

"We were sent to eliminate the Murlocs camping near the Alliance camp on the West bank. We will not injure any pinkskins."

"I see...," Erika paused before speaking again. "But why would you attack the Murlocs?"

Durk had Erika right where he wanted her. "I will tell you while we move. I have lost a lot of time talking with you. Come." He turned his attention to his raid. His voice had the power of bears and Wildkin as he shouted: "MOVE!"

His party promptly obeyed, moving again to where they were supposed to be. They moved westward again, while Durk and the Sentinels moved to catch up with the raid. Durk was fast, and he ran right alongside Erika. "The Alliance is supplying arms to the Murlocs." Durk began to explain where they were going and why. "The Humans are using the Murlocs as an army against us. I don't know why they're doing it, but they are. The first assault from the fishmonsters devastated our kind. We didn't have the strength we used to, and we lost many lives."

Far in the distance Erika could see the Murloc camp. Erika was sure that the Murloc camp could see them, too.


Comments on posts.

@TheNewHorde: Arthas dies in my story. He made the fatal mistake of not finishing Illidan off. I won't say any more...

@Flak: People asked, therefore people got. I didn't expect to have a chapter out soon, so I just filled in some cracks.

@Webbicles: It ended a while ago.

@TheNewHorde, again: Same answer to both questions. They're Night Elves, they're different from us.

@KillAllZerg: That's nice.

@Pretzel: You've kinda got the idea.

@Flak: Things do get out of control at times, don't they.

[BraveLiver]

There was a tree line not far from the enemy camp; a tree line that could be easily exploited. Erika called out to Durk to ask him to stop his force. Durk complied.

"What makes you want me to stop now?" inquired the Orc. "Do you see something I don't?" Erika looked at the trees, and then back at Durk.

"If you want to mount a head-on assault against the Murlocs, so be it. My forces will hide in the trees over there. I will not attack until I see proof that the Murlocs are part of the Alliance." Erika pointed to the trees and at the same moment her Huntresses moved into the small forest.

Erika always wondered why the Humans were still called the 'Alliance'. The Blood Elves left them and the great Dwarves dies in the final attacks on Arthas' armies. However, now was not the time to think of such things. Erika followed her forces into the forest.

Inside the protection of the trees, it was very humid. Bugs crawled al around the ground, and plants grew that Erika had never seen before. Plants like these would not grow in forests that had been disturbed. This forest had not been trespassed in many years. Erika thought about this fact, as a Murloc camp nearby would suggest that the ground beneath her feet would be disturbed. There had to be something wrong...

A shadow passed behind Erika. She spun quickly, an arrow already prepared to be released. The thing was gone. Erika searched around wildly, as did her Huntresses. One Huntress approached Erika and told her something quite shocking.

"Priestess, this is Elaine's Forest. It is not safe here." Erika had heard of this place many times before. She had heard of the brutally seductive murderer that disgraced herself from the Sentinels. Elaine was, in fact, an almost ultimate warrior. Unfortunately, she fought for no one after the disbanding of the Hunters of the Night. Apparently, Elaine worked her entire life to become part of this society. Years after she became a Hunter, she murdered all members of that society except for their leader, the so-called 'Great Hunter'.

Erika felt as if her forces were strong enough to take down one Night Elf. How could one stand up to forty Huntresses and a Priestess of the Moon? Seconds later, there were only thirty-nine Huntresses and a Priestess of the Moon. An indescribable shape kept gusting through Erika's forces, ripping open the purple flesh of whoever was in the way. The Huntresses became uneasy, and began to wander pointlessly while moving their tower shields around as if it would make a difference. Erika released an arrow towards where she saw the shape, but missed.

In the distance, war horns could be heard blaring, and the sound of clashing steel and piercing cries echoed through the trees.

[BraveLiver]

...and the crowd goes dead silent.

[Flak]

...in aw. No, but it was a good chapter.

[BraveLiver]

New chapter!!!

Just outside of Elaine's Forest the Orcs were knee deep in battle. Murlocs wearing man-made helms and breast plates defended their small camp from the hulking, green invaders. Orcs bearing axes and clubs attempted to purge the Alliance's treachery the only way they knew how: hack and slash. Both sides fought with extreme zeal and devotion for their cause, and morale was unbreakable with both parties.

The Orcs, lead by Durk the True, savagely battled their enemy. However, slowly, their numbers began to fall. The Murlocs were too agile, too small, for the Hordelings to handle. Many Orcs wondered where the Sentinels were as they drew their last breaths. Durk, although not showing any signs that he would die soon, wondered the exact same thing. His hammer smashed an amphibious skull in front of him. Helms proved to be useless against the power of an Orc's muscles, and the strength of a Paladin's hammer. A Murloc captain clutched his newly fragmented ribs, before feeling the terrible brunt of the hammer a second, and last, time.

Not too far away, between the numerous trees of Elaine's Forest, Erika and her Huntresses were trapped by an old assassin. Elaine, a Night Elf woman, murdered anyone who tried to escape her grasp. At the moment, those trying to escape happened to be a Priestess of the Moon and a force of Huntresses. Elaine didn't think that her opposition would be much of a problem to kill, and she was right. The Huntresses were no challenge at all; one quick swipe with her glaive and one Sentinel died. The Priestess, however, was a different story. Her proficiency with her bow was incredible, being able to fire accurate shots at a quick rate of fire. This Priestess could also seem to be able to follow Elaine, as the arrows hit the place where Elaine stood moments earlier.

Erika, now recovering from the shock of this impossible evasive enemy, came up with a new strategy. She drew an arrow, and released it. A brilliant burst of flame occurred as the arrow came into contact with a tree, lighting a small section of the forest. The assassin killed another Huntress. Erika now looked about her. The assassin had killed the last Huntress. It was now a one-on-one fight.

"Enough with this cowardice, come-" Erika screamed the last syllable as her back split open. She searched around her for the source of her pain, and watched the shadow spring from a tree, fly straight into a war hammer, perform a midair back flip, and fall to the ground unconscious. A battered and bruised Orc held that hammer, with a slight yellow glow around his body. This glow faded. It was Durk. Erika could form a proper sentence.

"H-h-... you hit... how did you hit it?" Erika inquired. She examined the woman now lying on the ground.

"She was distracted... I wasn't." explained Durk. "I'd suggest we move. I may be able to eliminate a bunch of Murlocs with help, but my raid is gone. More Murlocs will come soon."

Erika got off her tiger, and swung the woman onto its back, remounting the tiger seconds later. "How did you survive?" She asked.

"Divine Shield." He answered.


Yay! We found Elaine!

[Flak]

Braveliver is officially a jackrabbit. In the prolific sense, that is. :bigclap:

[BraveLiver]

Maybe I'm just tired, but what do you mean by 'jackrabbit'? I assume it's a good thing, with the clapping and all, but I don't understand.

[Flak]

Jackrabbits breed like nothing else. It's a term for being prolific, in this case, your writing (lots of posts, at least).

[Inquisistor7]

Originally, this story was pretty good, then it became okay, then it started to slip more. However, your installments as of late have become better paced and more interesting. Keep it up.

[PissingPanther]

i enjoy reading this story alot keep it up

[BraveLiver]

Originally, this story was pretty good, then it became okay, then it started to slip more. However, your installments as of late have become better paced and more interesting. Keep it up.

I needed something new for my story, and I was getting somewhat tired of the constant assassination idea. Inspiration and interest fell, as did the quality. Adding in Erika and Durk was just what I needed. PotMs always are interesting in writing, and an Orcish Paladin is original. Which reminds me...

Elaine wants you! ...to become a character in this story!

I need an idea for an extra character, and I can't do it alone. Give me a name, race, function (I.E. Paladin, PotM... but don't use those, they've been taken), and a bio.

The most interesting character will become an additiotn to Erika's party.

[TheNewHorde]

Dy'keltos the **** killer (Don't worry Flak, ur not gonna die. :g grin: )

He is part of the new horde. (Commonly known as the Frostwolf Clan or Thrall's horde.) The new horde is not allowed to use warlock magic, (read the WC3 manuel) so Thrall forced the new horde to use shaman magic. This charactor is adept at all 5 spirits, but masters the spirit of wind more than any other spirits. He is an orc who happens to be ambitious and mad with power, but he secretly desires the infernal magic used by the Burning Legion. He seen the power of the Legion, and believe it is the answer to his none stop thirst for magic. Instead of warlock magic, he secretly learned necromancy and is talented in summoning the wind spirit first and adds a few necromancy tricks to it to makes it stronger. But it oftens get out of hand and turns to a giant mess. He wears a dark green cloak making him able to hide in Ashenvale well and he never let down his hood so no one ever seen how his looks like before.

How's that for a bio? And don't really make him the **** killer, i was joking. I don't wanna kill Flak. Call him "Dy'keltos the Windwalker"

[BraveLiver]

Interesting concept... How does he try to mix wind and necromancery? I don't see how the two could be of much use together... Give me an example.

[TheNewHorde]

Example: He didn't tell the spirits that he knows Necromancy. No one knows, but when he summons the wind to attack his foe, he reduces his enemies' ability to move or do other stuff with cripple and the wind would hit right on. Like whirlwind or stuff like that. And he can hear the voices far away, farther than elves since the wind is his mastery. He can hear the voices that travels with the wind, and he can whisper to the wind and the wind deliver his voice to people far away. Useful in your "Elaine Assasination" type stuff, where he whisper to assasins from far away without being heard. He is a very secretive person, not even the spirits or elements of the world can see through him. Which is why the spirits are willing to listen to his calls, but no one knows his ambitions. (Private Message me if ur interested to know what his ambitions are. Or if it's ok, you can tell me to tell you right here in replies. he is like the blademaster in Max Xivalier but without the blade. ^^ )

[BraveLiver]

Only one entry? I guess I'll wait a little while...

[TheNewHorde]

One entry cause no one else is interested in ur story... It's getting lame in truth. I mean all the cool action of Elaine is gone. (though I never really like Elaine, she hits me as a phyco killer who kills for no reason other than pleasure. Sounds like my old family....)

[PissingPanther]

One entry cause no one else is interested in ur story... It's getting lame in truth. I mean all the cool action of Elaine is gone. (though I never really like Elaine, she hits me as a phyco killer who kills for no reason other than pleasure. Sounds like my old family....)


^^
dude I dont really think thats true. I think this story is awesome. I would submit a character but I dont wanna ruin the story.

[Flak]

Newhorde, are you ****ing stupid? You don't go around spreading someone's REAL last name on the internet! At least you mispelled it...holy **** you scared me.

Anyhow, now that I've cooled off, BL, your story isn't lame, don't listen to NH. It's on a different level in terms of humanity in the writing from BR's Arak Nerub, which he judges things by.


Finally, insulting work here is a NONO. There's constructive criticism and then there's this. NH, refrain from doing it in the future.

[BraveLiver]

Uhhh... Flak? I'm on your side for not spreading last names online, but why didn't you just edit your name out? It isn't abuse, it's for safety(?) issues.

[Flak]

I was gettin' there.

[TheNewHorde]

Sorry, won't do it again. Didn't mean to hurt ur feelings... I didn't know.

[BraveLiver]

She's going flat line! Clear! I think we saved her. Elaine might have been rescued.

Ya, I know. One monkey with one typewriter would have been faster. At least the next installment is done.

As Elaine lay limp on the back of her daughter's mount, she descended into a deep vision-filled sleep. Dreams of past, present and future filled her mind until she felt she could learn no more. She witnessed the doom of all the races of Azeroth. She witnessed the rebirth of the Scourge.

A dark tomb held a monster even more twisted than the vile Abominations. He was bound by chains forged by the Highborne before their descent into evil. He was the very first agent of the Scourge ever to set foot in Azeroth. His name was Korthank. Korthank was imprisoned after he was found to be evil. He would not see the living world for thousands of years.

Korthank yanked at his chains in desperate hope for that sound of snapping metal. As with the last millions of attempts, nothing happened. Those Elves were clever, and made chains that even he could not break. Korthank's machete stood just out of reach. It was slightly decayed, but it would hold its own against any kind of steel or wood. Korthank yanked at his chains again. No luck. Again he pulled with a deafening roar, and again he fell back onto the cold stone floor, still bound.

"Are you still here?" asked a horned figure that loomed in the darkness. "I got out, why haven't you?" Elaine knew this figure too well. He was the epitome of evil in the living world.

"You know that I cannot escape without my machete." responded Korthank, as if he were expecting the demon in front of him to be there. "The Highborne will not let me leave."

The horned figure shifted his wings, and smiled. "Perhaps you would be interested to know that the Scourge has come and gone. Not even Arthas could keep them organized. The Undead now lay scattered under Sylvanas' rule."

"Arthas... I know that name. He was to lead the Scourge before my rise to power. Archimonde told me so. I have heard of Sylvanas as well. She is much like you, is she not?"

"No. She isn't like me at all. She is weak, and she will be broken very soon, Korthank. Archimonde already had his doom. Fate puts all things into place, and now it is your turn." The figure picked up Korthank's machete.

"Are you going to kill me now? Is this my fate? Why don't you release me? We could have an honourable fight." Korthank watched the demon. The machete fell. Korthank's chains were broken. He was handed his machete.

"Meet me at the southern shores in three months. Bring all of your warriors. I will bring mine." The demon was about to leave, before Korthank spoke again.

"The southern shores stretch for miles. How will I find you?" Korthank resumed watching the horned figure.

"You will know, general. You will know." And he left.

If you know who the demon is, don't post it. Let those who don't figure it out. We are nearing the climax, and the end has been figured out.

[TheNewHorde]

Can I just post my guesses for who the demon is here? since I have no idea who he is.

[BraveLiver]

Note: This is one of my stranger chapters. Halfway through it I changed all my plans. I'm sure you'd be able to tell where the change was.

Elaine woke in a small room. There was a window, a door, a small mirror and a few decorative art pieces on the walls. The walls were made completely out of wood. It was Night Elf work. That, Elaine could tell.

This was a good thing. Elaine could speak to one of the elders and muster up an army to destroy the new Scourge at the Southern shore. An ambush: there was no other way to contain this evil. Elaine finally noticed that she was lying on a bed. A second later it was apparent that she was tied down. No matter. Elaine was strong, and she demonstrated her strength by breaking her leather bonds and lifting herself out of the bed. She darted out the door, until she was stopped by a guard.

Elaine reached for her glaive, only to find it missing. She scanned the guard. He was a tall man. Not much other than that could be noticed because he was clad in a ridiculous amount of armour. He carried a spear. "Halt," he said in a voice that would frighten demons themselves. "Hunter of the Night."

Elaine scanned him again. It couldn't be him. It... Just couldn't. "Great One?" she asked. The man looked at her with an air of authority.

"Yes, Hunter." A smile appeared on the Great Hunter's face. He was glad to see one of his warriors again. It had been a long time since his faction was broken up.

Elaine was beyond herself. "Why are you here?" she inquired as a small tear of happiness ran down her face. "I thought you left for the deepest forests."

"I did." He replied. "But who else would be able to actually keep you from escaping other than myself? A Warden? Ha!" Things began to fit into place for Elaine. All could go well now. The Scourge could be stopped.

"Muster your warriors." ordered Elaine. The Great Hunter's face grew sour with outrage. Who was Elaine to order him? "The Scourge has a new leader. They will be at the Southern shores in three months. He is with them as well."


"Elaine, this already happened. It was two years ago. The new Scourge was annihilated when the Burning Legion landed. Not even He could stop them. He withdrew his forces from battle." The Great Hunter was treating Elaine like a child. This could not be tolerated, but it had to. Elaine could not defeat the Great One.

"Two years ago? Burning Legion? What is going on?" asked Elaine.

Huge cliffhanger here. Guess you'll have to wait for the next installment.

[Terran Marine]

I like to spam.

[Inquisistor7]

The writing in the last two installments was solid, but plot in this work sort of jumps. Now what I eman by that is that you sort of introduce things out of nowhere. Doing such a thing isn't always bad, but it can injure the flow of a tale.

[BraveLiver]

I don't like my skip, but in retrospect it was for the best. I was planning on ending the story when Elaine and the Scourge met on the beaches. I was going to have Elaine and her forces massacred. This way I can at least keep the story going a little while longer.

[Flak]

Compared to Okashina Okashi, this story's plot is as impregnable as ... some famous guy's fortress. I mean, having plot holes as a tangible plot device... no no no, the plot here is VERY sound.

[TheNewHorde]

Ok... I'll take that as a yes. Here are my guesses, umm... here goes nothing.

Varimathas, Dethorac incarnate, Balnazzar incarnate, Tichondrius incarnate, Archimonde incarnate, Sargeras incarnate, Azgalar, Mannoroth incarnate, Kil'jaeden, Illidan, Mal'ganis incarnate, Magthoridan incarnate, Bruce Almighty.

wait, one more guess... Bruce Almighty incarnate, The-New-Horde himself!!! Bahhaahaahaa, I blow u all up, you all die! I win!

[NeckHanger]

Try one of Sylvanus Windrunner's lackeys. Stop with all the spam about incarnates.

[Terran Marine]

I guess Kerrigan from StarCraft.

[BraveLiver]

2 apologies. First is the tardiness. I had absolutely no inspiration. Second is the content and length. I still have no inspiration.

It wasn't long before Elaine understood what exactly was happening. Many questions still clouded her head, just waiting to burst out and be answered. One of these questions was prominent and persistent. Elaine's lips parted, forming what the Great One understood as: "How has it been two years? I don't just drift through time, do I?" The idea of having some form of time-controlling power tickled Elaine's fancy, but this feeling was cut short seconds later.

"No, you don't. A powerful Orc commander, a paladin, was agile enough to deliver a powerful blow to your face with his hammer. You haven't woken for over an hour since."

"Over an hour?" A slight breeze blew. "What do you mean?"

"You woke, but then fell back from consciousness very soon after. It's nice to see that you are still standing." The Great Hunter paused. "I have to admit that the first time you woke, I thought it would be permanent. It was pretty disappointing to see one of my warriors unable to stand on their feet."

Once again, there was a pause; a very long pause. It is rare that a Hunter of the Night spoke to the Great Hunter. This was a moment to cherish and remember.

The Great Hunter spoke again. "These are desperate times, Elaine. I cannot afford for my warriors to point me out as a commander. All formalities must be set aside, including the way you address me. I am Searoth. Yes, that is my name. And that is what you will call me from now on."

Elaine was shocked by this rather random comment. "Is that why you're talking to me?"

"Yes."

[TheNewHorde]

BL, I am going to be truthful with you. And please don't take it personally, it's just an idea/suggestion that I came up.

As you can see, (and as we can read,) you have lost interest in your story. Your stories are really losing the sense of power and excitment and the hook that keeps us reading, I have nothing against you. Your story is good, but if you really lost the interest in this, write something else. Let someone else continue your story for you. I believe there are millions and billions of people in this forum that is interested in your work, and have thought of the storyline in their head for Elaine, the hunter of the night in their heads. If you are willing to pass on your story to others such as Bullroarer (just an example, his probably too busy to even care about other people's story,) I believe this thread would regain the glory that it once had. Believe me, if you truly lost interest, pass it on, leave this to someone else to continue. You can even PM the person you like to tell him the storyline or let him think of his own, you might even be surprised what your little "naked" assasin could become.

*And even though my comment is negative, I am simply being truthful with my feelings. Take no offense, be glad you are still a way better writer than me. Cause if you truly dropped to my level... then that's when you should be depressed. I got a great mind/imagination, but I can't write.*

Aside from the depressing news, I'm just wondering, are you going to tell us if you decided to use our charactors that we submitted or not? Cause I got a new charactor that I think would fit better for assasination than the windwalker I submitted.

[TheNewHorde]

-deleted-

sorry for double post, might've click post reply twice

[BraveLiver]

I completely agree, NH. However, I will wait a little while to see if I can link my end to the rest of my story. I'm finding this part incredibly cumbersome.

Otherwise, I held the character submission at school as well. Korthank, the New Scourge leader, was the winning idea. I belive he will be used later on.

[BraveLiver]

Hurray! I think that I can use these lapses to my advantage, and put Elaien right where I need her to finish the story. Perfect!

Elaine woke in a small room. There was a window, a door, a small mirror and a few decorative art pieces on the walls. The walls were made completely out of wood. It was Night Elf work. That, Elaine could tell. Didn't I already go through this?

The only visible difference this time was the fact that Elaine was not tied down this time. Elaine ran out of the room and through the hallway. She left the cabin only to hear the words: "Halt, Hunter of the Night." This time the voice was not coming from a man, but a woman. This woman carried a Priestess' bow, and bore shoulder plated that accompanied her shining silver armour. Evidently, this woman was a Priestess of the Moon.

Elaine still worshipped Elune, and a Priestess was the closest rank of Sentinel to Elune. Elaine had to respect the woman in front of her. Elaine nodded her head, while firmly acknowledging Erika with a sharp "Priestess". It was amazing how one word could show so much respect for another Elf. However, Elaine had no plans on giving heed to Erika's command, so she quite carelessly kept on walking.

"Elaine!" cried Erika, "You must not go any further lest you want to be impaled by a thousand arrows!" Erika added to those thousand arrows by drawing her own, and stretching the bow. Elaine stopped. She turned rapidly to face Erika.

"You could not kill me with a million arrows." Elaine nearly spat out that last phrase, and Erika had no intention on letting this rudeness slip. "You need me." Elaine paused before continuing again. "Has the Legion invaded Azeroth yet?"

"I beg your pardon?" Erika wasn't sure whether to be confused or insulted by this statement. Did Elaine underestimate the Sentinels' power so much that she thought the Legion could actually invade Azeroth successfully?

"Good. We have three months to muster an army. If my predictions are true, then we will also need the might of the Horde and the Alliance by our side." Erika opened her mouth to ask a question, when Elaine interrupted her. "What are you waiting for? Send scouts to other villages and unite the Sentinels in battle!"

This time, Erika would not be disrespected. "I don't think you understand the situation, Hunter. We are the only Night Elven village that will accept you. The others would kill you in an instant. Also, know this: we're not too far off from doing the same."

Elaine had just noticed that this arguing had brought many observers to their location. Most of the village was watching this verbal war intently. Most carried weapons just in case Elaine became enraged.

Elaine's expression grew to satisfaction. "Good. I see that you have already started with the army from this village. However, this will not stop the Burning Legion. We must get more help." Erika was powerless to stop this woman. She was too assertive, and her voice felt like an order from Elune herself. There was nothing Erika could do but play along.

This is it, guys. The battle at the beach is coming very, very soon. I'm sure everyone here will not expect what I have in store.

[BraveLiver]

OK things are much better now. Be sure to read my last installment before this one, else you'll be completely confused.

Elaine looked over the cliff at the legions before her. Thousands upon thousands of Orcs, Humans and Night Elves filled the plains. It looked as if creatures grew like grass from the ground. Elaine could see the one army she had been waiting for. It was only a half-mile away from the actual mass that stood ready for battler. The Hunters of the Night had been reunited to fight this battle.

"Priestess Oakmoon!" summoned Elaine. Erika was very prompt with arriving before Elaine. "You will command all of the Sentinels that march against the Legion today. You have been helpful to me in the past three months, and I think you deserve this."

"Thank you, Hunter." Erika nodded as she spoke and sped off on her Nightsabre. The other armies already had their assigned leader. Durk, an Orcish paladin, commanded the Horde. Grant, a Human King, commanded the Alliance.

Elaine found the Alliance very strange, and not only for the fact that the Alliance was broken and only the Humans were left. She found the Humans' will to mimic the Dwarves of old very interesting. They stood in blue coats, carrying man-made rifles. At least they carried efficient weapons.

Elaine took a deep breath, staring at the rising sun as the air filled her lungs. "March off the armies! We march to the Southern Shores!" Her command was heard by all, and followed by all. The mass in front of Elaine moved slowly, without losing form, towards the destination. Banners flickered in the wind, weapons shined, armour bashed against itself leaving a metallic crunching sound for all those who cared to listen. Elaine ran to join the Hunters, lead by Searoth.

The armies moved over a hill, and the beaches were in sight below them. An air of calm was about them, keeping morale from slipping too far. Seagulls screamed at what they was, but the again, seagulls screamed at everything. Figures could be seen bobbing in the ocean a mile away. They were large. They were ships.

Korthank moved his forces along the beaches from the east. Living corpses with weapons followed him. Elaine knew the Scourge would be here, but not where and when. The Scourge stopped. Elaine went to meet them. Korthank spoke. "Is this what we were to meet here for? I don't care what He told me, I will not fight a united army."

Elaine replied calmly. "We are not here to make war on each other. The Legion will arrive soon." Korthank managed to make himself look surprised with all of his sagging flesh on his face.

Elaine looked back towards the distance, where smaller figures were boarding the ships from under the sea. Cries could be heard from the ships, cries of war and pain. Strange figures fought each other. There lean and tall figures that were originally on the ships seemed to be winning. The big and bulky things that attacked them fell back from whence they came. It was a Naga ambush that went horribly wrong. Elaine expected this, just as much as she expected Illidan to come from the western side. Interestingly enough, both expectations were right.

TheNewHorde kinda guessed the demon. Illidan was the guy speaking to Korthank. Anywho, I must sign out now. Be sure to comment on the last two installment, because I've got my fire back.

[Inquisistor7]

The writing was okay in the first post, but nothing really exemplary. Here are some specific comments.

Post 1.

and bore shoulder plated that accompanied her shining silver armour.

That should be “plates” not “plated.”


"Elaine!" cried Erika, "You must not go any further lest you want to be impaled by a thousand arrows!" Erika added to those thousand arrows by drawing her own, and stretching the bow. Elaine stopped. She turned rapidly to face Erika.

"You could not kill me with a million arrows."

I suspect you were shooting for hyperbole here, but it felt sort of silly; the exaggeration here struck me not so much as forceful but as cliche. It might’ve been better to just threaten her verbally with one arrow.


"Good. We have three months to muster an army. If my predictions are true, then we will also need the might of the Horde and the Alliance by our side."

I don’t know, but the whole idea of demonic invasion seems a little too grandiose for this story. I mean, it seems like you stretching Elaine beyond her limits. If you try to do too much with this story I fear you will find the situations sort of contrived.

Post 2.

I’m sorry, but this post just felt so odd. I mean, the writing was okay, but the direction you are taking the story doesn’t feel correct or logical. Sorry.

[TJiZzle]

I like this story alot and i cant wait for the next part

[BraveLiver]

The writing was okay in the first post, but nothing really exemplary. Here are some specific comments.

Post 1.

That should be “plates” not “plated.”

Oopd.

I suspect you were shooting for hyperbole here, but it felt sort of silly; the exaggeration here struck me not so much as forceful but as cliche. It might’ve been better to just threaten her verbally with one arrow.

Surprisingly, I was being quite literal.

I don’t know, but the whole idea of demonic invasion seems a little too grandiose for this story. I mean, it seems like you stretching Elaine beyond her limits. If you try to do too much with this story I fear you will find the situations sort of contrived.

I won't go too far. I have the end planned out, and that end is quite nigh.

Post 2.

I’m sorry, but this post just felt so odd. I mean, the writing was okay, but the direction you are taking the story doesn’t feel correct or logical. Sorry.
I got rushed at the end, and I apologize for those who had to read it over again. Anywho, expect a double post since I'm going to post my next installment.

[BraveLiver]

The ships drew ever closer to their destination. The Naga ambush had been stopped completely, and by the looks of it, with great ease. Closer and closer came the ships, forcing many of the soldiers to feel uneasy. "Ballistae!" summoned Elaine. Much to her surprise, Ballistae were not being readied, but Erika was coming to say something.

"Elaine, the Sentinels no longer use Ballistae. New technology has changed our ways. We use Glaive Throwers now." Just as quickly as she came, Erika darted back to join the ranks.

"Fine then," said Elaine to herself, "Glaive Throwers!" she then summoned. Enormous wood and steel glaives were being loaded on machined designed to carry and project them. Elaine watched the loading with keen eyes. All of the other armies had already prepared their siege weapons, and were itching to fire them.

Spontaneously, Elaine ran down to the Glaive Throwers. An elderly and male engineer greeted her with a "Is there something wrong?"

"No, not at all," responded Elaine. "However, I would very much like to have one of those glaives." Second after she spoke, one of the weapons was in her hands. She balanced the weight on one arm alone, which nearly sent the engineer into shock. "Thank you," said Elaine suddenly, "This will be very useful." Elaine ran back to her original position, carrying the enormous weapon on one arm.

Elaine issued one final order before the ships landed. She judged the distance, and found that they were in range. She took in a monstrous breath. "All siege... fire!" No sooner had her words ended that violent sounds projected from machines that projected violent objects. Mortar, flaming rocks, glaives and corpses littered the sky, before dropping in close proximity to the ships. Some objects even struck the tall, black ships. Two ships to longer appeared as tall as they were devoured by the ocean below.

Engineers loaded their weapons into their respective launchers, and the process repeated itself. This time, one more ship fell into the murky depths. Repeat. Another four ships fell, while hundreds more advanced. Repeat.

The ships were close enough for infantry to demonstrate the power of their volleys. Arrows and spears and other nameless objects joined the enormous projectiles in the air. The resourceful Priestesses of the Moon shot flaming arrows, setting a few ships alight. Unfortunately for the newly-united armies, the volleys were not enough. The ships scraped and slid across the sand, stopping to let out hundreds of tall, blue demons with spears. Upon seeing this new breed of evil, Elaine assumed that there were more lands than she knew in the world. She also speculated that the Legion had taken them, but that did not matter for the moment.

Thousands of Orcs, Elves and corpses charged to meet their enemy. Hack, slash, scream, impale. More ships landed, obviously releasing more demons onto the battlefield. Elaine rushed towards the evil that set foot in her lands, screaming something incomprehensible to any human. Fifty feet, twenty feet, ground zero. Still screaming, she whipped her glaive around to meet the back of her foe. The glaive lodged in his back. Elaine solved this problem by ripping the glaive out, along with most of the demon's innards.

[TheNewHorde]

Ok, I was banned for two weeks, so no reply to Braveliver even when I was dying to reply to his wondrous story.

First and most important of all, I want to brag:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i guessed who the demon was!!!

Second, Does Elaine and Erika know they are mother and daughter?

Third, I know the Demon Hunter is out of the picture, but you said he have influence continueously on Elaine, I think you should do it one last time. And mother daughter sad gathering with the Demon Hunter somehow have an effect on the two women again.

Fourth, why aren't the orcs/humans/night elves/undead surprised to see a sexy little "natural" assasin elf wondering in a battlefield anymore???

Fifth, I think I have a guess what is gonna happen to Elaine. She is going to die at the end. But that is just my guess, of course. But I have thought of million and milllion of endings that could happen to your story, (literally, millions,) and my most possible guess is Elaine died.

[BraveLiver]

Ok, I was banned for two weeks, so no reply to Braveliver even when I was dying to reply to his wondrous story.

First and most important of all, I want to brag:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i guessed who the demon was!!!

Second, Does Elaine and Erika know they are mother and daughter?

Third, I know the Demon Hunter is out of the picture, but you said he have influence continueously on Elaine, I think you should do it one last time. And mother daughter sad gathering with the Demon Hunter somehow have an effect on the two women again.

Fourth, why aren't the orcs/humans/night elves/undead surprised to see a sexy little "natural" assasin elf wondering in a battlefield anymore???

Fifth, I think I have a guess what is gonna happen to Elaine. She is going to die at the end. But that is just my guess, of course. But I have thought of million and milllion of endings that could happen to your story, (literally, millions,) and my most possible guess is Elaine died.

First- Yes you did. Along with another thousand guesses.

Second- Nope.

Third- The influence is planned out. The daughter of the Demon Hunter will show the influence in the next chapter.

Fourth- Elaine has had clothes on since she joined the Hunters of the Night hundreds of years ago. She wears a form of black bikini style garb. Hey, at least it's something. I got the idea for the clothing from one of the Blizzard Fan Arts, but I can't find it right now.

Fifth- That's nice. Speculate all you want, because the end is in either the next, or the installment after the next.

[BraveLiver]

Erika drew an arrow and released. The wooden arrow punctured a demon's shoulder, but the demon shook the blow off. The battlefield reeked of death and undeath, and the cries of warriors were deafening. Orc blood spattered on Erika's face, alerting her of the enemy who broke through the circle protecting her. A Demon Hunter who stood beside Erika was quick to down the foe. He turned toward Erika.

"We need Starfall!" he yelled. He was right. Even if Erika's circle of protectors was penetrable, casting Starfall could turn the tide of the battle. Slowly, Erika clasped her hands together. She closed her eyes. Erika, at this moment, appeared to be asleep. A small blue glow surrounded the Priestess, and it wasn't long before burning ellipses of raw power came streaming from the sky. Demons were incinerated and crushed as the stars fell on their heads, and exploded on impact.

Thousands of these stars fell, but thousands were not enough. Erika's defenders were being slaughtered, now that she had drawn attention to herself. Soon enough, the Demon Hunter was her lone protector. Erika didn't notice that she was in grave danger until she heard his scream. She stopped channelling, and found a spear shoved through the Demon Hunter's chest. Erika's mount suffered the same fate, as Erika fell to the ground.

Panic and fear filled her judgement, and she beat at the demon with her bow. The Elven wood shattered on his head, and Erika was left completely defenceless. Instinct became her conscious mind now, and she plundered the Warblades from the corpse beside her. These weapons were meant for destroying demons, and they would serve their purpose once more.

Erika's sight faded as she picked up the weapons, leaving only her enemies to be seen. Fury took her, and the blood she never knew she had coursed through her veins. She struck her enemies violently, and with unmatched skill. Dual weapons carved through all who opposed the Priestess, leaving moist stains along the sand. The sand was almost filled with blood now, the ocean washing away whatever it could reach.

***

Further away, Elaine was having a difficult time with the Legion. She was talented with the enormous glaive, but there were too many opponents. The enemy's ranks were decreasing rapidly, but not as fast as her own. Elaine looked back; sweat pouring from every pore in her body. The Human ranks still stood behind. They still did nothing, despite what they obviously saw. With all of her strength that remained, Elaine issued her absolute last order: "Do something!" the desperate scream was received by the Human King, and he was quick to respond.

"Rifles!" he cried, while all the men behind him put their rifles parallel to the ground. It was a quick and smooth motion, and it was performed in unison.

"Fire!" cried the King again. A wall of iron death whistled past, and through the melee ahead. Rounds pierced friend and foe, hero and weakling, living and dead. Showers of blood protruded from many warriors, staining the battlefield earlier. Elaine felt the circular wound in the left arm. Blood spilled from it, and it was painful. She could feel something inside.

This is not the end, but I'm pretty sure my next installment will be. I've had fn writing this, and I'm hoping to write another story soon, and better.

[BraveLiver]

Yup, this is the conslusion. An aftermath post may be written, but it may not. The same goes for deleted/forgotten passages that you may find interesting.

Elaine stopped fighting, and looked at the battle around her. Most dying warriors did the same. She could see the demons being eaten alive by tiny spiders, which promptly returned to the Crypt Fiend that threw them. Chimaera spewed terrible lightning from their monstrous oral cavities. Tauren smashed faces in with decorated logs. Another army of bullets pierced the ranks, this time Elaine was not hit.

Once again, she watched in amazement as warriors from both sides fell to the ground, and did not get back up. As Elaine watched, the iron ranks pushed through flesh again. Too many allies were being hit. This wasn't a battle anymore. There were three sides, with one not even being hit. This was utter massacre.

Demons, now realizing their obvious fate, pushed through their opponents and rushed the humans with the rage of berserkers. The humans fired again, turning the berserkers into corpses without the aid of magic. The loaded their weapons.

***

Erika was still fighting with the same zeal she had before. She barely noticed the human participation. For her, there were only two people: her and her opponent. Slice. Hack. Dodge. Spin. Dismember. Disable. Kill.

It became more and more apparent to her that she must not be completely of Sentinel blood. There had to be some Demon Hunter in there. She could feel the strength of it, the rush of it, and the pleasure.

***

Elaine looked at her wound again. The blood gushed out of it. Blood. She had killed so many in her lifetime, but she never expected to see such a wound on herself. The wound throbbed with unknown pain. This gave Elaine more strength than ever before. To see her own blood spilled made her feel at peace with herself, as if it were a form of redemption for the terrible crimes she had committed. She lunged at her enemies, glaive first, leaving many more to die. Elaine had a savage look on herself at the moment, like a cornered Razormane, but she did not feel the same on the inside. She felt free. She felt the round pierce the back of her head, but only for a split second.

The lifeless hero fell to the ground.

***

Erika felt as if something had impaled her, although there was no physical wound. She saw Elaine die in the corner of her eye, and for some reason, this made her feel sick to her stomach. At that moment, she understood. She understood everything. Life made perfect sense to her. Erika pierced her own chest with a warblade, let out a scream, and joined her mother with Elune in the afterlife.

And so passed Elaine, the Hunter of the Night.

And that's all she wrote.

[Flak]

feel at peace with herself, as if it were a form of redemption for the terrible crimes she had committed. She

Heh. What a nice way to go down.

So this is it, ka? The end? Hmm...:\

Well thank you for sharing your entertaining story with us! And I hope you do more than just this :)

[BraveLiver]

There will be more writing from me. I already have the idea for my next story.

[AlarStormBringer]

Now I can start reading the story properly.

[TheNewHorde]

I knew how it was gonna end. I even said it myself that Elaine way gonna die. I guessed who the demon was and I guess the ending correct. I truly is BL's number one fan, I should be given a new title. You shall all by now call me... BraveHorde! Though I still don't get who the general Illidan was talking to was, doesn't seem to tell anymore of him.

BL, i have an idea in mind. PM me if you like it and want to use it, and still PM if you don't like it to let me know at least you read it.

[TheNewHorde]

Your mailbox is full, so I'll rewrite my idea here.

I know I am not as good as a writer as you are, and I probably won't ever be. But I read the old threads these days and I thought we can bring back the good old fun game of tag team stories. Like we each write a chapter, PM me if you like the idea. I know you have a story to write, but i am just really excited about such a thing.

[Terran Marine]

This story was so weird. Some parts made no sense what so ever. How did hell did Elaine go from being a hunter in the woods to being a commander suddenly a few years later?